Mammograms and Ultrasounds

Today is the day for my semi-annual mammogram and ultrasound of the affected left breast and the annual mammogram of the other side.  It's at 9:15 a.m., so I have to get out of here by 8:30, making this a short blog.

I have read many other breast cancer women's blogs and reports, and I've spoken to some in person.  It is a common feeling to be nervous on this day and to stay nervous until the all clear comes in.  I didn't think I was having those feelings this year until I got in the shower this morning.  Somehow it swept over me like the water.  I was nervous.  I felt butterflies in my stomach. 

Maybe I'm having these feelings today because of a story I just heard from an acquaintance on Friday.  An older gentleman was talking to me about something I've forgotten while we were at the pool.  Then he mentioned his wife had passed away in 2010 from breast cancer.  I immediately became interested and asked questions about her situation.  She had her first diagnosis in 2006, stage II (like me), lumpectomy with clean margin (like me), but it was not in the lymph nodes so she did not have to do chemo like I did.  She did her course of radiation, but she postponed it for six months because she was afraid of it (I postponed mine for six weeks to take a cruise and move to Florida).  Just before her two year anniversary of the lumpectomy, she was diagnosed with stage IV. It was in her pelvic bones, and she died two years later.  I hate hearing stories like that.

The man, much older than me, said she was 51 at her original diagnosis, 11 years younger than he, and he never expected her to die before him.  Even two years after her death, it was easy to feel his pain as he told me this story.  He still wonders if postponing the radiation by six months changed her outcome.  No one will ever know.  He also mentioned that hers was an aggressive form of cancer, and she was younger than I was at the first diagnosis, which often makes it more aggressive.

I know there are so many types of breast cancer and different stories out there.  No one can compare one woman's story to another and expect to be able to relate it to her own situation.  Still, it was unsettling to hear the story and to think about my mammogram coming up in one hour. 

When I get back from the mammogram, I will put away some laundry while I wait for Mark to get back from his deep cleaning at the dentist.  If it's not raining this afternoon, then we might go to the pool this afternoon.  There's a 50% chance of afternoon thunderstorms, so if it rains, we will stay home, watch TV, and read.  Tonight we are having dinner out at Sweet Tomatoes as part of the synagogue fund raiser. Tomorrow is Weigh-in Wednesday, so I hope I can behave myself.  This morning I'm down one pound for the week. It would be nice to maintain that one pound loss through tomorrow morning's weigh-in.

And just to end on a positive note, I won THREE games at Mah Jongg yesterday. That was my best day out of the last five times that I've played.  In the four times before yesterday, I had only won THREE games total, so three in one day was fantastic.  Fortunately, all 7 women who were playing had good days and won at least once.