It's so cold this morning.

Waking up to mornings in the 30s is why Mark wanted to move to Florida. Ironically, it's only 38 degrees in Orlando this morning. No matter where we might be, it's cold out today. In fact, snow flurries are in the forecast. Still it's sunny right now, and I'm looking forward to a good day. Unlike Mark, I actually LIKE snow. I won't mind at all watching the flurries or snow showers today.

Mark and I have a typical day of running to Laurel, nearly an hour's drive from here, to do our errands. He has a prescription waiting for him at the Laurel Pharmacy, so that's always the main reason why we have to go so far. As long as we are out, I'll go to the post office to mail a few gifts to the out-of-town family. I'm sure Mark has a few other errands that I can't remember right now. It seems at least once a week we have this errand day. Normally I like days like this. As long as I'm not in a lot of pain, I'm sure it will be fine.

Yesterday I definitely turned the corner in the pain from the Taxol. I can only believe that today will be as good or better than yesterday. This is the last day I'm supposed to take the Celebrex and Claritin, so I'll have to see how it goes tomorrow without those pills. I don't like taking pills, and I'll be happy to drop a few off the daily regimen. I was in my 20s before I even learned how to swallow a pill. Fortunately, I can do it now, but I still don't like it. Tomorrow there will only be Advil to take the edge off the pain. I really cannot imagine it will get so bad that I'll need to ask for narcotics. We'll see.

Things are Looking Up!

This morning I am feeling refreshed from a good night's sleep. I definitely do not ache as much as I did the last two days. I read online, as well as heard from other BC ladies, that the first day after Taxol can, indeed, give you a manic amount of energy. Wow! I sure had it on Thursday. I crashed big time on Friday, and yesterday was a truly painful day. I never got dressed, just laid on the couch most of the day not wanting to move. I am quite happily surprised that the aches and pains are so much less today. I hope it stays this way and becomes even less tomorrow! That would make this round of Taxol A-OK in my book.

Although I'm not manic with energy today, I did manage to shower and dress (more than I did yesterday), and then I still had plenty of energy to wrap the Christmas presents that need to be mailed. Tomorrow Mark and I need to make another run to the Laurel Pharmacy for one of his prescriptions, so I figured that was a good time to hit the post office to ship out the gifts that are going out of state. I also plan to write my Christmas cards today. My handwriting is so awful these days that I hope anyone who gets anything in my handwriting can read it. I can't seem to hold my hand steady anymore. That's not related to chemotherapy, however, because that had started years ago.

Yesterday I found a lot of other women's breast cancer blogs. Sometimes I just need to read other women's stories. Then I decided to change the title of this blog, in case you didn't notice! I added the words Breast Cancer to it in case it might make it possible for other BC women who are looking for stories to find mine in a search. I found most of the ones I read directly from one woman's blog. She had linked a whole lot of other blogs about personal BC stories to hers. Still, I found hers just from doing a google search on Taxol side effects. So who knows? Maybe some other woman might stumble across this one in a google search if the words Breast Cancer are in the title. I'd love to think that my story might help someone else get through this someday like their stories do for me.

Side Effects of Taxol

Yesterday the good times came to an end. I still don't know why I had such high energy on Thursday, but I'm guessing that it was the first day in months that I had no particular other side effects happening, so I just felt normal. Normal was so weird that I was just on a high energy ride! Well, that's over.

Around lunch time yesterday I started to notice my hips were aching. At first I didn't give it a thought. Stray aches and pains just happen when you're 60 anyway. An hour later I realized my knees were stiff and throbbing, and the hips were worse. Soon my right shoulder joined in. The lower back started throbbing around dinner time. YUP! That's Taxol. It causes arthritic aches and pains in the joints and muscle aches, too. YUP! I got it. I was hoping the Celebrex would keep this from happening, but now I am hoping the Celebrex keeps it only at the current level. I can't imagine how this would feel if I wasn't taking it. I'm only taking it through Monday, and then I can use Advil. I hope it doesn't get worse. It's pretty annoying right now, especially since it's unremitting and unrelated to moving or what position I'm in. It's just all the time at the same level. It's not intolerable though. Hopefully it will not get worse, but if it does, I'm allowed to get a prescription for Percocet. I really don't want to think that this would be so bad that I would need narcotics to deal with it. That would NOT make me happy!

Another common side effect of Taxol is darkened spots on the fingernails, ridges, or even losing the entire fingernail. This can also be quite painful, according to some other BC women who have had it. I noticed two of my fingers do have small dark spots on them. I can only guess that this might progress more, too. I could also get neuropathy in my hands and feet. That hasn't happened yet, but now I'm watching for it since I do seem to have the other two problems. Hm...I may have to re-evaluate whether this is better than the fatigue and low-level nausea of the A/C drug cocktail!

On a happier note, I got a wonderful surprise yesterday. I heard a knock on the door, and there was a delivery for me of a beautiful and delicious Edible Bouquet. I took it in and read the card. I was so impressed! Lowell's girlfriend, Emily, sent it with a beautifully worded thank you note for having her over for dinner and presents Thursday night. Wow! That's classy. I immediately had to call Lowell to get her address so I could send a proper thank you card. I wrote it, and 2 others that I had been meaning to get around to, and walked them to the mailbox. The mailbox is just two blocks from the house. I barely made it down and back. By then my hips and knees were hurting pretty badly, so it was a tough slog to do those four blocks. My legs felt like heavy cinder blocks that I was barely able to drag along. It was an uncomfortable walk. Sad. Sigh. Still I'm very impressed with Emily. She is pretty and she has good manners. Lowell is lucky.

Great Hanukkah party!

My whole day yesterday was amazing. I could not believe the energy level that I had for the entire day, right up to 11 p.m. when I went to bed. We accomplished all of our errands, and my neulasta shot did not give me any side effects, yet anyway. When we got home at 4 p.m., normally I would have been totally exhausted and probably slept for two hours. Instead I spent two hours getting things ready for our holiday party without any fatigue at all. I totally felt like my "old" self. Everyone was commenting on my high energy level. It was AWESOME!!

Everyone arrived for the party between 6 and 6:40 p.m. Lowell lit candles with us, which is always a wonderfully warm feeling for me. We had a huge dinner, although I was disappointed with a lot of the food. I had seen tuna cakes, salmon cakes, and kosher "crab" cakes at the deli at Seven Mile Market. They all sounded and looked delicious, but they were mostly just filler and little fish. I didn't think the spices were that good, and I seemed to have dried them out too much in the oven reheating them. I also had ordered two dozen homemade latkes from the deli. Ditto with drying them out too much in the oven. Oh, well, at least applesauce or sour cream helped them out. The two best things were the coddies and the lemon pepper fish. I really only needed to have served them because they were delicious. The salad, fresh string beans, and donuts were all delicious, too.

After the huge dinner, we had a huge present exchange. It was so much fun! Mark and I had bought some gifts for everyone on our trip to Hawaii, so we gave those out last night. It was quite a lengthy time period of so many presents being opened that by the time we were finished it was already almost 9 p.m. At that point Lowell and his girlfriend Emily had to leave. That was sad because they didn't get to play Texas Hold'Em Dreidel with us, but we totally understood that she had a long drive home and had to get up at 5 a.m. to go to work. The rest of us played a few rounds with a time limit of 9:30 p.m. Denise was the big winner, so she took home the prizes: a box of chocolates and a big bottle of kosher Pomegranate wine. Actually Logan may have been the big winner because he took home a huge bag of chocolate gelt coins and all the dreidels! It was a really great family time! Thanks to all who came for the party. I loved it!

Today will be much more low key. Mark and I plan to stay home, watch some TV shows online that we've missed, and catch up on some other little odds and ends that can be done in the house. If I have as much energy as I did yesterday, I should definitely go out and take a long walk!

Feeling amazing

Except for some discomfort from the C diff, I feel amazing this morning. I do not feel nauseous or tired, and so far I have no joint pain. I actually feel myself today. I hope it lasts.

We are heading out now to the post office, Starbucks, the comic book shop, the cancer center for my neulasta shot, Pern's Hebrew book store for Texas Hold'em Dreidle supplies, and Seven Mile Market for tonight's dinner fixings. I can't wait to do all of this feeling as spry as I do!!

I have heard from another BC woman that she never had a reaction to the neulasta shot after the A/C treatments, just like me, BUT she did get terrible joint pains and achiness about 24 hours after the shot with the Taxol treatments. She said it wasn't terrible the first time, but really bad the final three. She actually had to take Percosets to cope with the pain. I was told I can have that drug if I want it. I took my Celebrex and non-drowsy Claritin at 7:30 a.m. and will take another Celebrex at 7:30 p.m. I will follow this regiment for five days, and hopefully it will lessen the chance of severe joint aches.

Tonight we have our big Hanukkah party for 8. There will be pictures and details posted on tomorrow's blog. Happy Hanukkah to everybody who celebrates! May your candles bring you the light of peace, freedom, and love.

Chemo Five: Taxol

I left for the cancer center at 7 a.m. It was a dark, windy, rainy, warm, and humid morning. The traffic was surprisingly light, so we got there easily.

Taxol is a nearly six hour event. It started at 8 a.m. and we finished at 1:30 p.m. They brought me lunch, and Mark went to the hospital Subway and brought his salad back to eat with me. I was very nervous about this infusion because of the many allergic reactions that were possible. Fortunately I had none of them. I did get sleepy because of the IV Benadryl. There were four pre-meds for nausea and to prevent allergic reactions. They took an hour. The "first timers" are put in a bed and their vital signs are monitored every fifteen minutes once the Taxol starts. There were three of us there for the first time today.

I did sleep a bit with the Benadryl, but I did not have a serious allergic reaction. YAY!! Finally something went my way. I have to take a Celebrex twice a day for five days and a Claritin once a day for the same five days, starting tomorrow. These will help mitigate some of the possible side effects. Nausea is still a possibility, but it's less than from the previous drugs. I can still use the prescription pills I have here for that if needed. Hair loss is still happening, so I was told not to expect it to return until Feruary or March at the earliest. The new possible side effects are joint aches and flu like all-over achiness. The Celebrex and Claritin are supposed to lessen the possibility of this happening or make it feel easier. I'm also allowed to take the narcotic pain killers left over from my surgery. Ironically, I didn't use any of them for the surgery and a few weeks ago I disposed of all of them. Sigh. I can also use Advil if I want. Another real possibility is tingling in the hands and feet, neuropathy. This can be quite severe or not at all. Only time will tell. The final warning I got from the doctor is that my nail beds can turn dark, and the nails may even fall off. I am really hoping that doesn't happen. It sounds awful. All of these side effects will happen as early as tomorrow, so I'll see how it is in the morning. Meanwhile I felt GREAT all day!!

I do still have to go back to the chemo center tomorrow for my neulasta shot. The white cells will still go down next week like before, so I still have to think carefully about being around a lot of people or anyone sick. I also had my labs done yesterday and my appointment with the doctor. I do have C Diff again. I have a 14 day course of Flagyl to take again, and an undated prescription for another 14 days should it flare up again in the future. I have four genital cysts popping up again, so I'm soaking in a hot tub with the Domeboro powder again to see if they go away.

When my oncologist walked into the room, she said, "I'm going to shoot you." She had already heard about my issues from the nurse! She did compliment me on staying out of the hospital over Thanksgiving though. We all attributed that to her decision to reduce my dose for chemo 4. We are hoping that the Flagyl and the cysts resolve before those white cells go down next week. When they were going down during the hospital stay, my numbers were 800, 550, 310, and then miraculously 1100. 1,000 and up is good. Yesterday I was 9,100!! I thought that was amazing. All my blood work was excellent. YAY!! Another thing going my way.

Tonight was the first night of Hanukkah. Mark made us latkes with sour cream and apple sauce. He also bought us three donuts. We had leftover spaghetti and salad. It was a delicious dinner. Mark said Hungry Girl announced that this is National Red Apple day, so we are all eating a red apple tonight with our donut as we watch Psych on TV at 10 p.m. That should be fun. We wrapped all our presents and made a big pile in the living room. It looks gorgeous. Cindy, although not Jewish, is participating in Hanukkah fully with us tonight. She has a big stash of presents here from us. Mark and I can NEVER buy her enough presents to make up for opening her home to us for these six months of my treatment. These gifts are meager tokens of our love and appreciation. Mark and I lit our menorahs and sang the traditional Hanukkah blessings before dinner so we could watch them glow as we ate dinner. After dinner we opened our first gifts. Mark and I gave each other our iPhones in advance, but Cindy had a gift for each of us. Also my other brother Mark and his wife Carol sent me a box of 8 presents! In our family gift exchange drawing, Mark Wyatt drew my name. He has outdone himself by sending a Hanukkah Gift Box of 8 things just for me! Wow! I was impressed.

Hanukkah fun will continue for seven more nights, but only tomorrow will be full of family. Kip, Denise, Logan, Lowell, and his girlfriend Emily are all joining us. In addition to candles and presents (for everyone!), we will play Texas Hold'em Dreidle. Mark discovered it last year and we played it with Lowell and Cindy. Tomorrow there will be 8 people playing. I'll let you know who wins!

My 30 Facts

Later today I'll be heading into the hospital to have lab work done and see the oncologist. I'll be sure to tell her I think the C Diff has returned. I might post later tonight how that went.

Meanwhile, yesterday I wrote my thirty facts about myself. Later I'll get Mark to post them on Facebook because I have no idea how to do that. It's easy to post them here.

When I was writing them, I started off well, but then I felt that it would be very hard to get to 30. When I hit 18, I got happy thinking I only needed 2 more. Oops. Then I remembered I needed 30 not 20!! Finally when I got finished, I realized I could have thought of more than 30, but then it would just get too boring. So 30 seemed right. Several of you have said that you were challenged to write your own lists. My sister Cindy did one yesterday, and Kip has also posted his on Facebook. If anyone else writes a list of 30 facts, please send me a copy by email or any other way you can think of. I'd love to read them.

Thirty Facts About Becky Silverstein

1. I married Mark Silverstein, my b’shert, my best friend, my lover, and my helper. This was the best decision I ever made in my life.

2. I converted to Judaism the week before my wedding. I have never regretted that for a minute. It has defined who I am and what I do ever since.

3. My children fulfill me in ways that are difficult to explain. I love them so much it hurts, and I am proud of them every day.

4. If I had my dream world, I would live in a beautiful house with Evey and her family in the house next door on one side and Lowell and his family on the other side. I’m pretty sure this would NOT be their dream world.

5. I like orange and peach colors and flavors.

6. I don’t like mint flavor in my coffee or my ice cream.

7. I have eaten a half gallon of ice cream out of a carton all at once more than once. Sad, but true.

8. Avocados, olives, ketchup, mustard, vinegar and all salad dressings have no reason to exist.

9. When Mark and I first met, we had the same car, Dodge Dart. Mine was orange and his was purple (his favorite color). We have often bought the same car again, including right now.

10. I hate cancer, especially MINE!

11. I have struggled with my weight from my earliest memories. I’m disappointed that cancer has sidetracked what I thought was my final time to deal with it. I really thought I had learned what to do and how to behave. When my treatment is finished, I will have to start over again.

12. I love dogs and cats, especially when I have had both at the same time.

13. I still think about my Siamese cat Sirikit. She was a very special pet that I got when I was 12 and had for 18 years.

14. I wish I had appreciated our dog Ace more when I had him. He was such a great dog, and I don’t think we gave him the love and attention he deserved.

15. There were years when I hated being a music teacher in the public schools and wanted to quit and go into another line of work.

16. I’m glad I never quit my music teacher job because there were years that I loved it and did great work, especially the last 10 years. It also has allowed me to have a good retirement pension.

17. I loved directing the Mishkan Torah choir. It allowed me to grow as a conductor and deepen my friendships with the people in the choir. I get extremely nervous when I have to sing solo, but I never, EVER get nervous before or during a choir concert. There is something completely magical about standing in front of a group of singers, no matter what their ages, that just makes me very happy. I always enjoy conducting concerts!

18. I didn’t realize how much I missed singing until I joined the Central Maryland Chorale and Goddard’s MAD productions. I’m grateful to have had a few years to work with those talented people.

19. I have never really gotten over the death of my parents. I think of them every day and wish that they could have seen Lowell and Evey grow up.

20. I love cruising. I have gone to Alaska twice, across the Pacific Ocean to and around Hawaii, through the Panama Canal, and many Caribbean trips. I hope to do many more. If I had all the money in the world, I would take a round-the-world cruise lasting four months and visit so many beautiful exotic places. Unfortunately Mark only likes being on a ship for about 3 weeks and I DON’T have all the money in the world, so I’m pretty sure I will not ever do this.

21. I have a dream of flying around the world, visiting all the Disney parks. I might be able to talk Mark into this one!
22. I loved my trip to Israel, but I want to go back and see so much that we didn’t have time to do.

23. I love my extended family. As Katie said, they are ABAZING. (You had to be there for that one.)

24. I like to flip the channels on the TV. This drives Mark crazy. Sorry.

25. I like all kinds of music and listen to many different styles. Some favorites are country, sixties and seventies classic rock, classical, and Broadway.

26. I really, really LOVE going to live theater, especially musicals. I hope there are some good opportunities for this in the Orlando area.

27. I play guitar left handed not just because I AM left handed but because I wanted to be like Paul McCartney!

28. I love voting and have never missed an election. Even this year Mark and I were able to vote by mail in the local Florida elections.

29. I love to drive and hope to take many more driving vacations with Mark. He is great at entertaining me while I drive.

30. I love traveling by train. I’m glad Mark and I have been able to go across country twice by train.