"There's No Place Like Home"

We walked in the door at about 7 p.m. (after a $105 cab ride from the airport, ouch), and I literally got tears in my eyes. It was so peaceful, beautiful, serene, perfect. Even with the piles of boxes to unpack, I felt at home. I can't wait for the cancer treatments to be over so we can stay here all the time, and so that all of our friends and family can come down here and experience it with us. I didn't make that guest room up for nothing, you know!

The doctor's appointment went well. I really have so much respect for this doctor, Keith Falcao. He has saved my life, twice. Once last April when he yelled at me about my weight and refused to do the hernia surgery unless I lost weight. Once again in July when he took out the lump immediately. He said to me today that he does not like the "wait and see" attitude for lumps. He likes to get rid of them. Thank God for that attitude!!

I got the impression that he agreed with my decision, although I think he would have supported any decision I made. I will have the re-excision lumpectomy (partial mastectomy) with six weeks of radiation, sentinel node biopsy, and the incisional hernia repaired again. Unfortunately he has to do the hernia with a complete abdominal incision again, so it will be very much like what I had back in November. After two surgeries in the same site, I'm not eligible for a laparoscopic procedure. Three procedures back to back to back, about 2-3 hours under anaesthesia, and one night at St. Agnes Hospital. It's all good. I'll be sore and tired for a few weeks, but I can do this.

He said only 1 in 10 women actually have lymph node involvement, so my chances are good that there won't be any. It was a good sign that there was nothing showing on the MRI for the other breast. He will be taking all of the nipple and aerole and about half of the breast tissue in the front, so I'll be smaller on the left side. So what! I'll have a thin scar across the front, few inches. OK. There is always a chance of recurrence, so I'll have to be extra vigilant at self-exam and mammograms. I have always done that regularly, so I'm not worried about that.

The only other hurdles now are whether he can get a clean margin. He said he cannot tell by looking at the tissue since this margin is on a microscopic level. He will do the best he can, but if there is no clean margin, then there will be a full mastectomy later. If there is no clean margin or there is lymph node involvement, then there will be chemo later also. If the cancer is negative for the hormone receptors, I will have chemo. We can't know any of that until after the surgery and the pathology reports come back.

Right now, I'm not thinking about that. I need to do this like I did the house, one step at a time, one hurdle at a time. Now there are boxes to unpack in Florida, so tomorrow morning, that is the step, the hurdle to get over. I'm looking forward to it.