Thinking about Breast Cancer this gloomy, rainy morning

Last night I spent a lot of time reading other women's stories online. I googled breast cancer stories, and it's amazing what you can find. Many women have written much more eloquently than I have about their experiences. One woman in particular used an amazing image. I am not going to publish her entire post, but I did copy and paste the first two paragraphs which you'll find in this blog. It really captures the way I have felt lately. My appointment with the medical oncologist is at 2 p.m. this afternoon. When I get home, I'll blog again about the outcome. In the meantime, here is an excerpt from a brave woman's cancer story.

"And now I am trapped like an animal in the wild--once free to roam as if life would last forever! Unexpectedly, I have fallen into the trap, down down deep I fell, the ground resounding with my impact, my foot now caught and bloody from the heavy saw-toothed iron now clamped around it, while a boa constrictor slithers around my neck loosely now, threatening to constrict and stop my life forever whenever he chooses. Can I ever escape the trap? Will this experience ever be only a miserable memory of the past?

For now I must be content to live within the trap--I must make friends with the snake and be grateful that my life has been spared so far. For now I am indeed trapped in this prison within myself-alone to experience the horrow and despair, yet not alone to think of how I am loved, of that I am sure. I have given much, I remember now, and my heart is proud and full with the knowledge that I will not endure this experience alone because of who I am, how I have loved others, and how I am loved in return. Still I can never forget that, even when I leave the trap for good, the snake comes with me and can threaten me with his long teeth, or bite me, or squeeze the life out of me slowly any time he decides to. How can I make friends with such a monster-- but I must--we are now and will always be together."