Today, after dropping Ken and Cindy off at the airport for their long weekend to San Antonio to celebrate Ken's 60th birthday, Mark and I are driving to Lewes, Delaware for two nights with Dave and Evey Herschler. They live in a beautiful over 55 community, and they have invited us to be their guests this weekend.
Dave and Evey are producing a talent show for their residents tomorrow night, the first one ever at this community. Somehow he talked Mark and our friend Jeff Rosen into being part of the show. I had the good sense to decline. I am just going to be an audience member, and I couldn't be happier about that!
This morning I cracked a new number on the scale, which was HIDEOUS. I am now at the same point where I could not walk a block before my back hurt terribly or my hips felt like they didn't want to move anymore. 281.3. Why? Well, it might be a bit of sodium overage yesterday because I ate a lot of tortilla chips, lime flavored. Yummy, but stupid. I don't know what to say for myself.
Once I had lost the 100+ pounds, I told Evey that I felt young. I thought about myself and said, "I don't know how I let myself get that out of control." That's still a true thought, but here I am nearly back again to 300, only 14 pounds from the day on April 8 in 2009 in the surgeon's office when he yelled at me about weighing 295 and being too obese for surgery. Here I am wondering how I got to this point. Here I am wondering why I'm out of control. I'm a binge-eater. I know that. I guess it's a life long disease, like all addictions.
Evey once said I should go to counselling for this. She has studied obesity and diabetes in depth as part of her master's degree in nutrition. I'm sure she's right. In fact, I had never heard of BED, Binge Eating Disorder, until she told me about it. At that point, I was in the 230s and feeling good about my weight loss. I did not think I would need any counselling. I thought I had it under control. Clearly, I don't. Clearly, it's time to read about BED again.
Passover begins next Friday night. We shopped for a lot of our special Passover foods yesterday. I found myself throwing four bags of potato chips and several boxes of other candies and cookies in the basket. Do I need those things? Absolutely not. Will I eat them? Absolutely will, unless I throw them out before then. I am sometimes a scary and pathetic person when it comes to food.
Meanwhile, I am not taking the computer to Delaware today, so there will be no more blogs until next week. I promise to weigh myself again Monday morning and report the weight.
LOL! I just started giggling, sitting here at the dining room table by myself. LOL! HaHa! Tee Hee! For some reason, the title of this blog just made me laugh. Maybe I should change it soon.
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