Do-Over

Yes, today I will have a do-over, of the bone density scan from yesterday.

When I went up for my 11 a.m. appointment, the place was a mad house.  Mark and I couldn't find two chairs together in the waiting room.  Really, I had never seen it so busy.  Even so, I was called back for my appointment about 11:35, so I thought that was pretty good.

The technician was nice and seemed to know what she was doing.  I had remembered the scan in Maryland several years ago that was just my right arm.  She said that was an old protocol and that now they scanned the lower spine and left hip.  Apparently, that's what I had done last February, although I really didn't remember it. She said she did have the results from that scan, which was done in the same location.  It was normal.

So I climbed on the table, lay still for awhile, and was all done.  Piece of cake.  I used the ladies' room, and we went off to the next errand. 

End of story?  Not at all.

Apparently, just a few minutes after 12 noon, they called Mark's cell phone.  That's the first thing.  Why his cell phone and not mine?  I had clearly filled out all their paperwork, again, showing my cell phone and my home phone.  Mark's phone was only listed on the second page as the person to contact in an emergency.  I hardly think this qualified as an emergency.

Unfortunately, Mark's cell phone was turned to silent and he didn't think to put it back to loud until around 4 p.m.  That's when he noticed the phone call and missed voice mail.  So we listened to it at that time.  It said I needed to return immediately and have another scan taken.  It said to call the office and tell them I was on my way back.  Well, not after 4 p.m.  We were already planning to go to a Shalom Club meeting at 7 p.m.  At 4 p.m. we were heading up to the gym for our weights and a 40 minute walk. 

So today I need to head back up there, without an appointment, to try to get squeezed in for a do-over.  I'm not thrilled about it, but I guess it's just one of those things.

Meanwhile, the extra weight I reported yesterday is gone.  I woke up this morning back to 266.3.  My friend Rhonda sent me an email suggesting it might have been water retention.  I guess she was exactly right.  I did eat right yesterday and I did my exercise. I also drank a lot of water.  All good.  I plan to have another good day today, including another walk if the scan doesn't take too much time out of my day.

I'm also going to my cancer support group this morning. I haven't been there in over a month, so I really wanted to attend today.  That is from 10 -11, so I will go straight to the scan after that, probably arriving up there about 11:45.  I bet it's a long wait to get a turn, but the rest of the day is pretty wide open.  I was going to hang around the pool, pending the weather, because the next few days are going to stay in the sixties, not exactly pool weather.  Today should hit 75 and sunny.  If I don't get to go to the pool today, it won't be too tragic.  It will be a good day for another 40 minute walk in any case.

Bone Density

This morning I have a bone density scan. I think this is the third one I have had; it might be annual.  It's funny that I really don't KNOW for sure.  It's an easy scan, and definitely no big deal.  My daily generic dose of Arimidex can potentially cause bone loss, so I will be checking annually. 

Except for going to the Shalom Club meeting at 7 tonight, my bone density scan is the big event of the day.

Unfortunately, I have to report a weight gain for the week.  This morning I was 268, up from 266.3 on Friday when I returned from our trip.  So even though I thought I was doing ok the last few days, I actually gained nearly two pounds in four days.  I can just never tell.  It's probably the lack of exercise.  We did the mile and a half cancer walk Friday morning and then nothing, no gym and no walking.  I should be able to do both today.

I also never write anything down or track the food in my Lose It! phone app anymore.  That's a mistake.

There is one piece of reasonably interesting news, unrelated to health or weight.  Last night I quit the Starliters, for this season, not forever.  I knew that I was going to miss half of the rehearsals when I saw their schedule last fall.  I almost dropped out right then, and now I wish I had.  Since I have been gone for two weeks on vacation, I felt that I fell really far behind.  All this music has to be memorized, and I just don't think I can do that now.  Hm...I really mean I don't WANT to do that now.  Between now and the concert are two sets of company, six more missed rehearsals because of Passover and other things, and just no time or interest to sit at home and sing this two hour program over and over enough times to memorize it.  So instead of going to the rehearsal last night, I sent the director an apologetic email explaining my decision to drop out.  If this had been Guys and Dolls, where we can hold the music during the show, there would be no problem. I can read the music, but I am terrible at memorizing!  I managed last year because I didn't miss any rehearsals. 

Yesterday I got up early and made a list (I love making To-Do lists!) and checked things off as I accomplished everything.  Finally it was around 4 p.m. and then only thing not checked off was "practice the Starliters' music."  At 5 I ate my early frozen dinner just as if I was going to go to that 7 p.m. rehearsal.  At 5:30 I still didn't get the music out to look at it.  I finally realized that I did not WANT to look at it, so that was a problem.  I went tot he computer and sent my resignation letter instead.  Once I did that, I felt GREAT!  Like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  It was the right decision for me this year.  Maybe it will be different next year, and I hope they will take me back in the fall for Guys and Dolls, because the fall show is easy since memorization is not required.  LOL!

Looking like rain

The forecast calls for a 50% chance of rain over most of central Florida today.  That's a good thing because it is really looking dry around here.  This morning it is all gray and overcast, so I think the forecast is right.

Unfortunately, we were planning on going to Epcot between noon and 3ish today.  I had better take the backpack with rain ponchos in it, like summertime.  It's going to be a high in the low 80s, so it's not quite like summer.  Hopefully, the rain won't make us too cold.

First we are heading back to SOJC for Purim services again.  I don't believe we have ever gone to a morning Purim service before.  Our rabbi scheduled it this year because it's a Sunday, so all the kids are going to the service from 9-11 a.m. instead of class.  Then from 11-1 they will go to their usual Purim carnival. I am thinking it will be chaotic and packed with kids over there this morning.  I seriously tried to talk Mark out of doing this, but he wouldn't here it.  "It's a mitzvah to hear the megillah twice."  I'm sure it is, but once would have been enough for me.  Whatever...

At Epcot the "Voices of Liberty," the magnificent group of 10 men and women who sing a capella patriotic songs inside the American Pavilion, are singing special songs today because it's the end of President's Week.  They are honoring the presidents with songs, so I'm curious to see which songs they pick.  It's part of this year's Limited Time Magic events, so today is the last day for this event.  We have no idea what time of day they are singing, but we are hoping we can catch a performance sometime before 3 p.m.

Around 3 we plan to leave Epcot and head over to the hospital to visit Al N.  He is recovering really well from his spine surgery on Friday.  He posted a picture of himself on FB yesterday standing up and smiling.  Awesome!  He still has a long way to go to fight the myeloma that has attacked his spine, but this is the first step. 

And then tonight it's the OSCARS!  Wow!  This year's Oscar nominations are all great.  We have only seen a few of them, but every one that we saw was wonderful.  All the ones we haven't seen yet are supposed to be wonderful, too, so I don't know how the voting will turn out.  Mark and I are both excited that we can be home and watch the whole show tonight.  That doesn't often happen for us with our busy schedules.

I don't want to talk about weight today.  I will weigh on Wednesday and discuss it then. I feel like I'm doing a little better, but I also don't feel like I'm dropping any weight.  I ate too much lunch yesterday at the bat mitzvah's luncheon; however, breakfast and dinner were very low in calories.  I hope that compensates for the big lunch.  We didn't stay for the ice cream sundaes after the megillah reading last night.  We received one shalach manot basket on our way out, so when I got home, I did eat my half of it for a bedtime snack.  That was one hamantaschen, one miniature peanut butter cup, and one super tiny piece of a lemon biscotti.  It was all absolutely delicious!  I just hope that it didn't add any weight.  I'm seeing the doctor for my four month check up in March, and she will NOT like this weight right now. 

Shabbat Zachor

This morning Mark and I went to our shul here in Florida and found that there was a bat mitzvah.  It was also Shabbat Zachor, Lowell's bar mitzvah portion.  Of course this comes around every year, but I still get a kick out of being at a bar or bat mitzvah this day. It reminded me of Lowell's bar mitzvah, which I thought was great.  It's almost unbelievable that it was 21 years ago for Lowell.  Wow, I'm old!  LOL!

It's also Purim tonight, so we are going back to shul for the megillah reading (the book of Esther).  A lot of people will come in costumes, including our rabbi and cantor.  Mark said he will go as a cowboy.  Wait, I'm pretty sure that's not a costume for him.  I thought about wearing my pirate outfit from the Disney cruise, but it all seems like too much effort to find the t-shirt right now!  I think I'll go in the same outfit I wore this morning and have sat around in all afternoon.  I really think that's about as much of a costume as Mark going in a cowboy outfit.  LOL!!

This year, because Purim is a Saturday night, our synagogue is having a morning service tomorrow during the school time to read the entire megillah again at 9 a.m., followed by the annual Purim Carnival at 11 a.m.  Yes, we are going to that, too.  We are skipping the carnival, and after the service, we are going to Epcot and then over to the hospital to visit our friend Al after his back surgery.  The surgery went well and he is feeling good as he recovers. I saw a picture of him standing up today!  That's good progress.

I'd love to hear what all of you out there reading this blog are doing this weekend.  I haven't been getting many comments on the blog anymore.  I sometimes get private emails about it.  Feel free to let me know your weekend plans!

Third Year Walking

This morning was the fifth annual Solivita Walk/Run for the Cure, sponsored by my American Cancer Society Relay for Life Team, The Cancer Support Group of Solivita.  I walked the two miles in 2011 in 48 minutes.  Last year the walk was shortened to a mile and a half, which I completed in 31 minutes.  This morning it was the same mile and a half as last year, and I have to report that I added a few minutes to the time, making it in 33 minutes.  I felt okay about that.

Sadly, the weight has increased each year.  In 2011, the walk was in the middle of March, after our 19 day cruise on the Celebrity Century. I weighed 248, I think.  Last year it was in mid-February and I weighed around 255.  Now I weigh 266.3.  Apparently the extra weight isn't slowing me down too much.  I know I was slow the first year because it was in between chemo and radiation. I was still very sluggish from the chemo drugs floating around in my system.  Last year I thought I was walking pretty fast, but I was disgusted at my weight.  Now I'm walking about as fast but weigh more.  Go figure. All I can attribute it to is that I have walked a lot in preparing for this morning.  I walked almost every day of the last two weeks in anticipation, so it paid off.  I'm happy to have done it in just 33 minutes.

It's also Weigh-in Wednesday, and I've already said I weighed 266.3 this morning.  As high as that it, I consider it good news.  It's exactly what I weighed two weeks ago when we left on the vacation.  That means I finally managed to stay the same on a big cruise and driving trip.  I finally managed to balance the calories in vs. the calories out.  I don't often do that very well, so I'm pretty pleased with myself.

Soon we are going over to the WDW area to meet up with Mark's old high school friend, Vinnie, and his wife, Annette.  They have a time share here in February.  Last year they came over to Poinciana for the day and saw our house.  This time we are going over to visit their time share condo and have lunch out with them.  I hope I do ok with the lunch out.  Then tonight Mark will make us a nice Shabbat dinner at home.

Tomorrow night is Purim, but we have not gotten any hamantaschen to eat.  It's kind of sad. I'm sure I could go buy some at the local stores, but we decided that neither one of us needed to eat them.  If they serve some at services tomorrow night, then we'll take one.  I did send some fancy ones out to our kids, so I hope they are enjoying the holiday a little bit when they eat them.

Our vacation was just everything we wanted it to be.  We did some sight-seeing around the Fort Lauderdale area, visited some family and friends, had a lovely cruise, and finished with a day on the beach in Miami.  We even extended that vacation feeling when we drove home yesterday.  We got into the area around 1:30 in the afternoon.  Having no food in the house, we ate lunch and dinner out and also spent some of the afternoon laying by the pool.   Now we will be home until April 24 when we begin a six week trip, driving north to Maryland and NY.   In between we will have overnight guests two, maybe three times, and celebrate Passover. 

We are enjoying our retirement to the fullest!

Of course, I'd also like to comment that our good friend, Al N., is in the hospital today, having spinal surgery.  He has recently been diagnosed with a blood cancer, myeloma, which has attacked his spine.  We pray that all goes well with the surgery.  He's having some rods inserted to strengthen the spine.  He was on the brink of being paralyzed from the deterioration in the spine due to the cancer.  Hopefully, he will get some pain relief from this surgery.  His recovery is estimated at two weeks and then cancer treatments will begin for the myeloma.  Mark and I are keeping Al on our prayer lists, and his name has been added to both our FL and our MD synagogue prayer lists.  We wish him a speedy and full recovery of both body and spirit.  I also wish his wife, Barbara, all the best as she continues to be his full time care giver.  That is also a role that can take its toll on a person.  Hang in there, Barb and Al!  Lots of people are praying for you.

Vacation is almost over!

I am in a Comfort Inn in Deerfield Beach as I write this.  Our vacation has only one more full day and then a day to drive home.  We should be home Thursday night.  I can only say it has been GREAT!

I have not even had the time or inclination to sit in front of the computer to write a blog.  To those who read everyday, I apologize.  But I did warn you that it could be awhile before you got another one.

Tomorrow is Weigh-in Wednesday, but I didn't bring the scale on the trip.  I'll be weighing in at home on Friday morning, and I'll post it then.  I have a good feeling about it.  I really feel that I ate less on this cruise than usual. I know for sure that I drank less!  I also walked a lot.  Mark and I got on board and saw that 9 times around the jogging track was a mile.  That very day we went around 10 times and planned to add one each day.  We did that, although we had to use the gym treadmills to complete the two miles on the last day because it was dangerously windy up on the jogging track.  We also did the weight machines every other day, just as if we had been at home.  Each of our three shore excursions were also very active, especially the two solid hours of walking in Panama City.

In general, this will go down as one of our best cruises ever.

We also have had a great time visiting Mark's aunt and uncle in Fort Lauderdale.  After the cruise, we went back to their beautiful condo because Mark had promised to install their new wireless printer for them.  We had lunch with them and a lovely afternoon's visit.

Yesterday and today we spent our time visiting our friends Walter and Lore in Loxahotchee, FL.  Actually their new condo is in Royal Palm Beach.  They bought it last year and we saw it just after they had signed the papers.  It was good to go back and visit it now that it's been painted and has furniture!  They call themselves "snowflakes" because they are in Florida only three months of the year.  Apparently, you have to be here for six months to be called a "snowbird!"  I never knew!  They took us to a great Thai restaurant one of the nights.  It's always good to see old friends.

Tomorrow we are going to the beach in Miami.  We haven't been there in over four years, so we are hoping the weather is perfect.  Then we head home on Thursday.  I'm posting a few pictures from the cruise for you to enjoy.  I probably will not write another blog until Friday morning when I post my weight.  Bye Bye for now!

We definitely walked this track almost every day.

Sail Away party!

Our excursion on Cozumel was to a beach.  We had lots of fun swimming here!

Mark beat me at mini-gold.

We lounged on deck chairs A LOT on this cruise because the weather was just so beautiful.

We all had to wear hair nets to go into the pineapple plant in Costa Rica.

Drying the pineapple

At the ruins of the old Panama City

Walking through the old Colonial city of Panama City as it is being restored

Low tide at the entrance to the Panama Canal, Bridge of the Americas in the background

The new city skyline in the background

A Valentine's Day surprise in my room

Carnival Freedom

Mark and I will be heading to the Freedom around noon today, so there won't be as many blogs. I might post a few, but I'm not promising.  It just depends on how much internet time we buy and how busy I get.  I hope everyone has a great week while we are gone.

Yesterday was a lot of fun.  The Water Taxi in Fort Lauderdale is lovely and cruises past so many unbelievably beautiful, big, and monstrously expensive homes that it is surreal.  We enjoyed our lunch at the Cheese Culture and our dinner with Dave and Evey.

There was only one wrinkle in the whole day.  Just be we were leaving for dinner, my glasses snapped right in half at the nose piece.  I called a Lens Crafters at a local mall and was able to get them fixed in only five minutes.  Remarkably, they had the exact same frames, so it was just a matter of taking the lenses out of the broken frames and popping them in the new ones.  Although I hadn't planned on laying out over a hundred bucks for a new pair of frames yesterday, I was very happy that I could get them so fast.  I also felt like it was a little miracle that it happened when it did and not after we got on the ship today when I could not have done a thing about it.

Florida Everglades

We had a BALL at the Everglades Holiday Park, home of The Gator Boys on Animal Planet. I highly recommend watching a few of their episodes. It really gives you a new respect for the alligator.

It was only about a three and a half hour drive to get to Fort Lauderdale. I was quite surprised by that.  I always think it's far to south Florida. We took the hour long airboat ride, which was one of the best we have had for sightings of alligators.  Then we went to the alligator show.  It was just like what they show on TV, but we were so close up!  That made it especially fun.

At the end I got to hold a baby alligator.  This one was named Sponge Bob.  He was pretty good sized, two years old, and very wiggly. I'm not sure he was in the mood to be held.  I loved it!  This is the third one. My first was Brutus, after the airboat on the Indian River in October of 2011.  He did NOT have his mouth taped shut.  Then I held Fluffy at Boggy Creek airboats near us and now Sponge Bob.  Both of the last two did have electrical tape on their mouths.  I'm OK with that. LOL!  Brutus was the one that the handler said was raised as a pet and watched TV with her on the couch.  She said,  "He doesn't know he's an alligator, and I don't want him to find out."

I'm posting pictures of Brutus and Sponge Bob, but I don't have a picture of me with Fluffy on the laptop to put up because they wouldn't let me use my own camera. I bought their picture. I do, however, have a picture of my brother Mark holding Fluffy!  So I put that up with my two pictures.

We also had a nice long visit with Mark's Aunt Esther and Uncle Pinky.  They look wonderful and treated us to dinner at their country club. They have lived in their beautiful Fort Lauderdale condo since 1988 as snowbirds to their home in Long island, but in 2006 they moved here permanently.  They love Florida, too.  Seriously, who doesn't love Florida?

Today we are exploring the intercoastal waterway of Fort Lauderdale on the Water Taxi, having lunch at a place called The Cheese Culture, and dinner at the Rodeway Inn with our friends Dave and Evey H. 

I kept my calories really great yesterday. I had a normal breakfast at home, Subway turkey salad for lunch, and tilapia with a dry baked potato and green beans for dinner.  I had a banana and some blueberries for snacks.  Great day!  This morning I had oatmeal with raisins and Splenda and two hard boiled eggs at the hotel breakfast.  I hope to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch the highest calorie meal of the day and have low cal fish and veggies for dinner at the Rodeway Inn.  There should be plenty of walking around as well.  Tomorrow we board the ship!

The finale to the gator show!

Mark calling his aunt to confirm we were on our way.

Mark with his Aunt Esther and Uncle Pinky in their beautiful condo

Me and Sponge Bob!

Me and Brutus!  Look, no tape on his mouth.

Mark and Carol with Fluffy.

Third Time Out

Our third cruise begins this weekend.  Crazy, I KNOW!  We took the Carnival Valor out of Miami in December, the Disney Dream out of Port Canaveral in January, and now the Carnival Freedom out of Fort Lauderdale in February.  The funny thing is that this is the first one we booked, nearly two years ago!  Still, we are just as excited to be heading out for this one.

The itinerary for this cruise is Cozumel, Mexico, Limon, Costa Rica, and Colon, Panama plus four wonderful days at sea.  It is touted as being "to" the Panama Canal because the ship is too big to go "in" the Panama Canal. LOL!  We have already sailed all the way through the canal from the Pacific to the Atlantic back in March of 2010, so we don't care about that.  This time we are taking a bus from Colon to Panama City and exploring the sights and history of that big city.  We are pretty excited about that.  In Costa Rica we are visiting a banana plantation and a pineapple plantation plus the factories to learn how these fruits are cultivated and packaged for shipping.  I think either Dole or Del Monte owns these factories, but I'll let you know after we get there! This is our third trip to Cozumel, ho hum.  This time we are taking a catamaran from that island to a smaller island to hang out at a beach all day.  At least it's something different.

The Carnival Freedom is the younger sister ship to the Carnival Valor.  The deck plans are identical except for different names of the rooms and the decor.  We feel like we will have an advantage over the others getting on board because we already know where everything is!

Today we are going to visit the Everglades Holiday Park, home of the Gator Boys. You can watch their show on Animal Planet.  We have gotten hooked on it!  We will be taking an hour long air boat ride, seeing an alligator show, and probably holding yet another young gator. Then we are visiting Mark's Aunt Esther and Uncle Pinky, who live in Fort Lauderdale but whom we have never visited.  Finally, we are going to see their condo and go out to dinner with them.

I am taking my laptop, so I will be checking email periodically and might even write a blog or two on the ship.

I am down another pound this morning to 266, so I'm pretty happy about that.  I did my weights, walked 35 minutes, and ate right.  Still, I am starting out this cruise at a weight higher than any cruise before.  Mark said he will help me hit the gym and jogging track every day on the ship. I also need to stay away from the free soft serve ice cream machine and late night snacking!  I also hope we both stay healthy.

If you are reading this blog and live in the north, watch out for the big blizzard about to hit.  It looks like the northeast is going to get hammered.  Stay safe and warm.

Wednesday Weight

I promised to post this morning's weight, so here it is.  This morning I stepped on the scale and it said 267.  That's a two pound loss for the week.  I am pleased with that.

On the other hand, I left for the Carnival Valor cruise in December at 261 and for the Disney Dream at 264.  Now I'm leaving tomorrow for the Carnival Freedom cruise at 267.  That's a sad trend.

Today I will most definitely go to the gym and do my weight routine plus walk at least 30 minutes.  I'm also going to the store for a few items for our trip to Fort Lauderdale, which begins tomorrow, and I will pack and go to a rehearsal tonight. It should be a busy day with little time for day time snacking.  When I get home around 9:15 p.m. is when my snacking gets bad.  I will watch myself tonight, and then maybe tomorrow I'll be down another pound.  It could happen.

Golfing Day

I heard too late that it is National Pancake Day, so I have not had a pancake today.  Sigh.

Mark and I went out to the Fantasia Fairways miniature golf course today.  It's the other side of the Fantasia Golf at WDW near the Dolphin and Swan hotels.  Mark tried this course last January with Kip and Denise.  After two and a half hours, they had not completed it.  Today it took us an hour and forty minutes, but we did finish.  Mark beat me by just one stroke. I was up by two at the half way point, but he really excelled in the second nine holes.  It's a very difficult course.  Tiger Woods played the course and did poorly, so why should I think I'd do well?  In fact, Tiger Woods said it was the hardest course he had ever or would ever play.  WDW CEO Bob Iger was playing with him and beat Tiger by one stroke! 

We also stopped into the Art of Animation for lunch at the food court, which is called Landscape of Flavors.  It has a very interesting menu that includes a lot of vegetarian choices.  Mark and I both had the roasted acorn squash with two sides.  Our sides were spinach paneer and cauliflower in tomato sauce.  Everything was exceptional, although the spinach was a bit too salty for me.

Tonight we are going to a concert at the ballroom in Solivita. It's a Broadway Revue type of thing with two singers, male and female.  The proceeds all go to the Solivita Performing Arts Council, which gives money to the local schools to help them out with their arts programs.  A very worthwhile cause to me!

Some dear friends of mine have learned today that they dealing with potentially very serious health issues.  More tests will be needed to determine the full extent and develop a treatment plan. I prefer not to mention them by name in this blog yet, but I know they read the blog and will know I mean them. My prayers and love and healing thoughts go out to them today.

Here are some pictures from our day at WDW.

WACCO FOR FLACCO!

The Baltimore Ravens won the Super Bowl last night.  It was awesome, a really great game.  As Mark said, "If I only ever watched one football game, it sounds like I picked a good one."  Oh, boy, did he ever!  Mark and I stayed home and had our own little Super Bowl party. It was a nail-biter game at the end, but the Ravens held on to their lead to win it all.  Nice!

When I was in Baltimore for my chemo, Mark, Evey, and I went to one of the kosher delis to pick up some Thanksgiving food, including a pre-cooked turkey. In the store, there were purple and white t-shirts with Hebrew on them hanging up for sale. I asked Evey to tell me what it said.  She didn't immediately recognize the Hebrew words, so she slowly sounded them out and said, "Wacco for Flacco?"  I burst out laughing!  She had no idea what it meant, but I had been seeing that on t-shirts in English all over the town.  Last night, EVERYBODY was Wacco for Flacco, and he was named the MVP.

After Evey's admonishment about having my blog deteriorate into a daily log of activities, I don't know what else to write today.  I had a great weekend with shul, friends over for dinner, a new hair cut, and a concert to raise money for the American Cancer Society in addition to the Super Bowl.

As for food, I was pretty good on Friday.  I probably ate too much with our guests on Saturday night because I was up a couple pounds.  I put out the leftover hummus, veggies, and pita chips along with some fruit and cut up cheese cubes for Super Bowl appetizers.  Then later in the game, Mark made veggie chili with low fat hot dogs for dinner.  I think there was a lot of sodium in the cheese and chips because I'm up another couple of pounds this morning.  I'm not worrying about it because today and tomorrow will be perfect, calorie and exercise-wise.  There is no reason for it not to be.  I will be sure to post my weight Wednesday morning. 

I love my daughter because...

she kicks my ASS when it needs it.

I thought this was the second time she kicked my ass, but she correctly informed me it is the THIRD time.  Clearly I didn't listen the first two times.  Maybe the third time will be the charm.

Here is her ASS-KICKING email to me about Wednesday's blog. I read it at the Beach Club resort Wednesday night and got permission to post it here.  I agree with everything she says, and it makes me happy that she loves me enough to tell me the truth.

Your blog is depressing to read lately because all you do is write about how much weight you gained and how it makes you sad. Reading the same thing day after day, week after week, with no actual effort toward change just comes across as whiney. If I had sat and whined about getting Cs in high school day after day after day and you knew I was being lazy with my homework how would you have reacted? Probably not with any sort of pity or a "there there, it will get better". No, you would have said do your damn homework and you'll get better grades.

I pulled this sentence from the last line of your post from January 31, 2010: "PS. I weighed 209 walking out onto the stage. One pound under my revised goal of 210. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself."

3 years ago you weighed 209. And you looked amazing. What the hell happened? Cancer, obviously, but that's not your current excuse. On some level I think your priorities are in the wrong places. You seem to value overindulging and eating fun food more than you do your own health. Unfortunately if you don't take care of your body and your health, meaning your weight, then you're just not going to live long enough or have a functioning body with which to have fun or eat any food at all. I'm not sure why the thought of constant joint pain, immobility, heart disease, popping the mesh out of your abdomen, or straight up living a shorter life than you could have are not enough to motivate you. You've done it before so you can do it. You're just not doing it.

Having said that, I understand the addictive nature you have with food. In a post from January 2010 you mentioned Overeaters Anonymous. You wrote, "Overeaters Anonymous is one organization that is set up to help people with this. They follow the same sort of 12 step program that Alcoholics Anonymous does. I looked at their website today also. I probably should join, but since I will be on vacation and in the process of moving, it doesn't seem like a good time to join. I think I will seriously consider it when we get settled in Florida. Fighting a food addiction one day at a time is the same as fighting any other addiction  and the more support systems a person has in place, the higher his chance of success becomes."  

Okay so... you're settled in Florida. You've beaten your cancer diagnosis. What's your excuse now? Having too much fun not addressing your addiction? That sounds healthy. Why don't you look into that group again? I would also seriously consider meeting with a cognitive behavioral therapist and/or a nutritionist who will help you address the psychology of your problem while giving you tasks and activities that help positively change your behavior. It isn't just the food either, it's including better quality exercise that burns calories and doing it consistently. 

What you're doing currently obviously isn't working. Try to find something new to help you. Your blog, which was once meant to help you with accountability, tracking, and motivation, has turned into a place where you simply lament your lack of those things while telling everyone about your daily life. We all just want you to be healthy. I truly believe in a "healthy at any size" mentality, but you know that you're not as healthy as you could be. At 209 I think you would have been fine. Even if your body prefers to hover at 220. But where you are now and where you're going is not okay. If it makes you happy, though, and you're cool with your lifestyle then that's fine. If not, then either make positive changes or stop complaining about the consequences. 

I really think you're going to need professional help or at least a tangible physical support group at this point. Doing it alone makes it too easy to justify things or make exceptions. And it's hard on your emotions and psyche. Please consider all your options. 

Love you,

Evey