Long Drive

Not much to say about today. We left Ashland, VA around 9:30 a.m. The drive was easy and uneventful, arriving in Savannah, GA at 5:45 p.m. Traffic was very light. We had a bit of drizzle for about an hour in South Carolina, but it wasn't much at all.

As we went further south, we remarked on the lack of snow! Mark did not miss it! When we pulled into Savannah, we saw people walking in sweaters or even just short sleeved shirts. I took my winter coat off, and I don't think I'll be using it again for a LONG while. I had planned to use my fleece jacket to go into dinner, but I didn't even bother putting it on. It's cool, but not cold. Tomorrow, the forecast for Orlando is 78 and sunny. We are ready for it!

Wonderful Wedding

After postponing our trip from Thursday to Friday, we got on the road about 11 a.m. with a light snow coming down. We had a long drive up to Riverhead, NY. There was a big accident along the Long Island Expressway that backed traffic up for miles. At one point we covered only eight miles in two hours. Still, we arrived in the nick of time to attend the rehearsal dinner. It was fabulous seeing our friends again. We had not seen Ron and Barbara since Memorial Day Weekend. I think it had been a few years since we had seen their kids. We ate lots of delicious food and enjoyed the great company.

The wedding on Saturday was spectacular. We have known Barb and Ron, the bride's parents, since we were both young couples at Mishkan Torah. Barb had just had Jennie and I was pregnant with Lowell. No matter where they have lived over the last 30 plus years, we have made a point to get together frequently and stay in touch. Evey once told me that she was about 10 years old before she figured out we weren't actually related to them. She is the same age as Barb's twin boys. Sarah was a beautiful bride!

I enjoyed the freedom of being at the wedding and feeling healthy. I drank six drinks (three glasses of champagne, two of Irish whiskey, and a Cosmo) to make up for the six months I didn't drink any alcohol. A shuttle bus brought everyone to and from the hotel to the ceremony, so no one had to worry about the drinking. Even though I had six drinks, it was over a six hour period, so I never really even felt buzzed. I had a great time! I ate way too much, of course, but, hey, it was a wedding. The best part was the dancing. Being on the dance floor and dancing fast and slow dances with Mark made me feel so free, healthy, happy, and normal. It was an awesome feeling.

This morning we said our goodbyes to everyone and got on the road shortly after 10 a.m. We made it smoothly to Ashland, VA for the first of our three day drive into Poinciana. It's cold here tonight in Virginia, but there is no snow on the ground! It's going to be near 80 degrees on Tuesday when we arrive in Poinciana. It's hard to imagine.

For anyone reading the blog who doesn't know our friends, here are some explanations:
Picture 1: Mother-of-the-Bride, Barbara
Picture 2: Barb and Ron's three sons, twins Zak and Ben, and our godson Jesse
Picture 3: Father-of-the-Bride, Ron, with the bride, Sarah, and brother Ben
Picture 4: Proud Papa Rabbi Ron
Picture 5: Mark and me at the reception

Offline for a few days

Our internet went out Wednesday evening during the big snow storm. This afternoon in the hotel is the first time I've had to get back online. Sorry if any of my loyal readers panicked at my absence. LOL!

The pictures show how heavy and wet the snow was. It took down a small tree in the backyard Wednesday evening which brought down the cable/internet wire. During the middle of the night, I heard a big noise, but I thought it was just a branch. Turns out the really gigantic tree in Cindy's back yard toppled down completely. Fortunately it went to the side and did not hit our house or much of the neighbor's house. It crashed into the picket fence, broke a window pane in the neighbor's house, and damaged a little corner of the roof on his house. It pulled the electric wire in very odd directions, but miraculously we did not lose power. The electric company came Thursday and re-wired it safely. It was just amazing.

We left Friday, and I felt a little like I was getting out of jail. Wow, I'm finally free to move about the country!

It took us hours to get out of the house. I couldn't believe Mark was able to get everything into the car. It was a true engineering feat, only rivaled by some of the car-packing jobs Evey has done in the past to get to and from college. When we left, it was snowing. It was pretty, but it did not affect our drive. The only thing that affected our drive was an accident on Long Island that backed up the expressway all the way to the entrance of Brooklyn over the Verrazano Bridge. Just insane! We covered only 8 miles in two hours. Frustrating, but we got to the hotel safely around 6 p.m.

We had a blast at the rehearsal dinner last night. It was fun to catch up with our friends and see the bride and her groom. This morning we ate breakfast in the hotel with everyone and then Rabbi Ron, the father of the bride, led Shabbat services in the hotel. It was awesome!

Now I'm killing some time in the hotel breakfast area, schmoozing with friends, and typing this blog. It's hard to stay focused on it because people keep coming around to talk. I don't mind!

One thing that is fun to report: I HAVE FUZZ growing in. YES! There is a soft peach fuzz growing on my head! I noticed it for the first time Thursday night. I rubbed my head and I realized that the patches that were smooth skin were no longer smooth! I even made Mark come over and rub my head to see if it was my imagination. No, it's not my imagination. I HAVE PEACH FUZZ on MY HEAD!!! Hallelujah!

Snow Day

We woke up to a lot more snow than we expected. At 7 a.m. it was snowing pretty hard, and all the schools were closed for the day. Last night I called the hotel in NY and canceled our reservation for Thursday night. We are going to drive up on Friday now instead.

Cindy and Lowell each had to go to work, but Lowell said it was OK when he drove in. Tonight is his first grad class for the new semester. It should be snowing pretty hard when he gets out around 8, so I hope he makes it home OK then. Our new snow totals are 8 to 10 inches by tomorrow morning.

Yesterday went very well. The OR got a bit backed up, so instead of going in at 11:30, I went in at 12:45. Even so, I still made it to the oncologist's office by 2:30 for my last appointment. She was very wonderful throughout this whole experience. I will miss her.

I learned that it can take six months to a full year for all of the effects of the chemotherapy to work their way out of my system. That was a bit of news to me. She also thinks I'll see some new fuzzy hair growth in a week or two. That's pretty exciting!!

Our dinner was wonderful, too. First, I learned I have been calling this restaurant by the wrong name all this time! I thought it was Umani's, like someone named Umani owned it. Ha Ha!! NO, it's Umami Bistro. Umami is a word for a savory taste. Hey, I didn't know that, but Mark looked up online. We ate wonderful food with Lowell and Cindy. We toasted Cindy for allowing us to stay in her house this whole time. Then we all got home in time to watch the State of the Union address.

Mark and I are hoping to get out around noon today to go to the grocery store for just a few little items that will help us make it through to Friday morning. Between noon and 4 there is supposed to be a lull in the precipitation before the really heavy snow hits. Since they never plow Cindy's street, I'm not sure we will be able to get our car down the two blocks to the bigger road if there is over 10 inches on it tomorrow. Right now there is only about 2 inches, which I know my little Focus can drive over. I guess tomorrow's blog will let you know if we are successful today and how much snow is out there when it's all said and done. Be safe and warm wherever you are.

The Last Visit to St. Agnes

This is a BIG day for me. I'll talk about that after I recap the great day I had yesterday.

Mark's cardiology appointment went very well. The doctor basically said he had been a very sick man who is now completely recovered. It was almost exactly a year ago, January 30, 2010, that Mark suffered the taketsubo during our Cabaret show at Mishkan Torah. It appeared to be a heart attack, but it was really a rare form of cardiomyopathy. In the treatment process, they also learned he had a heart defect from birth. Now he is fully recovered and takes appropriate medications to help him. We are very blessed that he survived and recovered from this condition. Mark really bonded with this cardiologist this past year, so he's sad to leave him. Since he has to check in every six months with a cardiologist, the doctor said he could always come back up here and see him. I think they both have mutual respect for each other.

After the appointment, we had a lovely lunch at Q'doba's and then attended the funeral for our friend Jackie's mother. The funeral home was packed. I happened to meet an art teacher there from one of my schools. We hadn't seen each other in years, so it was nice to catch up a bit. I learned that one of the other art teachers from that school is also fighting breast cancer right now. Our rabbi and my friend Chana also attended the funeral.

After the funeral, Chana, Mark, and I went to Caramel's for a snack. This is the kosher sushi place we had eaten in last week. We had not enjoyed our main dishes that night, but this time was completely different. Chana had pizza and hot tea, which she loved. I ordered the same two flavors of ice cream and a decaf coffee. I also loved it. Mark had an amazing entree. He saw a new item listed: broccoli and cheese. He envisioned it like a side dish, some broccoli on a plate and some melted yellow cheese drizzled over it. It took forever to fix. In fact, Chana and I were finished our food and wondering if they had even noticed Mark had ordered his brocooli and cheese. Well, they had, but it just took a long time to make, but it was worth it. It was a large metal container full of fresh broccoli. On top of that was a HUGE amount of mozzarella cheese. The whole thing was in a slow oven to melt and brown the cheese until it was hot and bubbly. It was amazing!! Mark was in heaven!

We also had a fabulous time chatting with Chana. She even brought us two fabulous cookbooks, one for soups and stews and one vegetarian cookbook. I know there are things in there Mark will make when we get home! Chana said, "Why didn't we do this year's ago?" Well, for the same reason that Annie and I never out to a movie together. When we are younger, working, raising kids, there's just no time. I have really enjoyed this part of my situation, the opportunity to hang out with friends, to go to movies, to have lunches, to have unhurried conversations. It's been fabulous. I really thank everyone one of you who has given me your time, conversation, and fellowship through these past six months.

After this snack, we rushed home. I had made an appointment to watch the movie Eat, Pray, Love with Cindy. We did watch it, but no one really loved it. Cindy and I both read the book, but neither of us really related well to the main character. I like Julia Roberts, and the movie had received a lot of hype, but I didn't care for it. I think if you had not read the book, it would be nearly incomprehensible. I'm curious if any of you blog readers like it.

Well, now to today's big doings. In about 20 minutes I'm heading to St. Agnes for the last time. I have a 9 a.m. appointment in the chemo room to have my blood drawn through the port for the last time. Then at 9:30 a.m. I will report to the outpatient surgery to be prepped for my 11:30 surgery, during which Dr. Falcao will remove the port he put in back in early October. That's truly a milestone in my book! I'll have awhile to recover from the anaesthesia, get some lunch in the hospital cafeteria, and then meet with Dr. Griffiths, my medical oncologist, one final time. I'm sure my blood work will look great. I can tell her that, knock on wood, I still don't have the C Diff back. I also need to tell her that I have black spots on three toes and some neuropathy in both feet. The black spots have been there for over a week, but the tingling and odd sensations in my feet just started in the last two days. Most likely they are temporary, but it's something new that has cropped up since I saw her last. My records have been sent to Florida, and I have appointments with the radiation and medical oncologists at the Osceola County Cancer Center on February 2 and 4. Today is truly the END of this chunk of my treatment.

Tonight we are meeting Cindy and Lowell at Umani's, the really good kosher Chinese restaurant. One reason we picked that place is that they also have some traditional "Jewish" foods on the menu. Mark wants Cindy to try some kishka. We had bought some chicken breasts stuffed with kishka from Seven Mile Market, but it wasn't good kishka. Cindy, who had never heard of or tasted kishka, thought it was disgusting. She wasn't far from wrong. Mark plans to order kishka tonight and have her taste it. We are assuming it will be better than the other thing, but as Lowell said last week, no one ever made kishka better than our beloved Alice Pearlman. It will be our last time to see Lowell for the next several months, so I plan to take pictures at the restaurant.

We are also watching the weather carefully. The snow is going to be tomorrow and overnight. I just heard them say several inches of wet, heavy snow. By Thursday morning, it will be over here, but the system is going up the coast. I'm worried about the drive to Long Island on Thursday. We still have options of going tomorrow or Friday. I guess we will make that decision later tonight.

I hope all of you have a fabulous day. Even though mine is starting off without coffee or breakfast this morning, I'm really looking forward to it. It's a momentous day in my book!

Brrrrr!!!!!

Today it is COLD, COLD, COLD. So far it is only NINE degrees outside, feels like SEVEN. That is just not very common here in the mid-Atlantic area. I don't think it's going to get too high all day. I'm more concerned about the storm coming up from the south. The current forecast is that there will be snow/wintry mix Wednesday night into Thursday morning. We are planning on driving up to Long Island, NY on Thursday, and it looks like the storm is going there, too, the same day. UGH! Thursday could be a nasty day to drive. We still have the possibility to put the drive off to Friday, so we'll keep following the weather reports.

We were quite successful in our cleaning and packing endeavors yesterday. It took about five and a half hours, although there was about an hour in the middle there for lunch. We loaded the car with a ton of stuff, threw out two large garbage bags of junk that accumulated, returned a pile of books to Cindy, and laid out a few things that we didn't want to take with us or weren't going to be able to fit into the car for her to decide if she would like. If she doesn't want those things, they can go to charity or the trash. We each kept one suitcase of clothes and all the things we will need to stay here until Thursday, but it's still a lot. I'm a little concerned that the stuff still in the house is not going to fit in the car. Mark is more confident, and he usually loads the car anyway, so I hope he's right. We need Evey here! I have never seen anyone load a car more tightly or efficiently than she does on all those trips up and back to Boston over the years. The best news about yesterday is that I could do it! I worked all those hours and did not feel totally exhausted when I was done. I worked slowly, but there were many trips up and down the stairs and to and from the car. I was pleased that I had the energy to do it. I'm sure that's a sign of good things to come in terms of regaining my strength and endurance.

Mark has an appointment with his cardiologist today in Columbia at 12:15, so we'll be out of here at 11:15 to head down there. Sadly, we are then going to a funeral at 3 p.m. here in Pikesville. The mother of one of my synagogue lady friends passed away. My friend is also a breast cancer survivor, so she was one of those who stepped forward in the fall to help me understand everything that would be happening to me. Thanks for that Jackie, and we will see you this afternoon at your mother's funeral.

Cindy and I made an "appointment" to watch the movie Eat, Pray, Love this evening. She had read the book awhile ago and recommended it to me while I was here. I carried it with me to several chemo sessions and read it in the hospital. I have been wanting to see the movie ever since I finished the book, so we finally just had to make an appointment and put it on our calendar.

Then there is no food or drink for me after midnight because I have surgery tomorrow morning. I feel pretty happy about getting this port removed! It's a big milestone meaning I have completed two of the three steps in this cancer journey. Surgery and chemotherapy are behind me; only radiation is left. Well, that's if you don't count the five years of oral meds I'll be taking after radiation! I'm not worried about that, though.

I don't want to jinx things (so everyone knock on wood somewhere right now), but around noon today, I will have passed the C Diff milestone I set for myself. If you remember from an earlier blog, I said that after the first 14 day course of Flagyl, it returned in five days, 2 days after the second course, and 5 days after the third course. So when the fourth course ended last Tuesday morning, I decided not to get excited about this until SIX days passed. That would be TODAY at noon. So...I don't want to get too excited yet or jinx it, but today will be six days. Knock on wood, cross your fingers, keep hoping! Maybe it's finally gone.

Saying Good Bye

Yesterday was a really wonderful day. We left the house about 9:45 a.m. and did not get back until 11:15 p.m. In between, the day was chock full of good byes.

We went to Mishkan Torah synagogue for services. Even though we arrived fairly late, we were in time to be called up for an aliyah. That is always a special honor, and I loved having that honor on our last time at the shul. After services, we just had a great time socializing with all of our friends, hugging, and saying goodbye to everyone. It was hard to leave! Mark did a wonderful thing, which I wish he would have told me about so I could do it with him. He took the time to walk around the building and look at all the plaques there with our names on it. His name is on the plaque for being president; our name is on the Keter Shem Tov plaque; there is a special plaque for each of our kids in honor of the bar/bat mitzvahs; Mark's mother has a memorial plaque. We have been members of this congregation for 35 years, and there are lots and lots of memories there. Two congregants had brought us parting gifts today, also, which was unnecessary but greatly appreciated.

Once we finally left, we headed to Silver Spring to have lunch with our friends Glen and Farlee. We met them when they were members of Mishkan Torah. Our daughters are the same age. Their daughter, Rebecca, is currently living in Jerusalem and getting a master's degree in education in order to teach Judaic subjects in Hebrew schools. She is a beautiful young lady. Farlee prepared lunch for 9 people, and it was delicious. We stayed talking to them until nearly 6 p.m. when it was time to go to Sara and Jeff's house for dinner. Thanks, Farlee, for the fabulous food and fellowship on Shabbat afternoon. There is a very special feeling in your house that is just amazing. Thanks so much for including us in your plans for Shabbat and for all the wonderful times we have gotten together over the last 20+ years!

Dinner with Sara and Jeff was equally wonderful. Saul, Phyllis, Dave, and Evey joined us for dinner. The meal was super delicious, but the companionship and conversation was even better. It was just so comfortable and beautiful to hang out with such good friends for a few hours. Hugging and saying goodbye was very difficult.

Today will be a work day. Mark and I are worried that we have accumulated more stuff here in the last five months than we can get in the car. It's cold today, but Wednesday it's supposed to be rainy with a wintry mix possible. It will also be the day after another surgical procedure, so I might not feel as well then as I do today. So today will be a work day. We are going to completely empty out the car, collect up all the stuff, and start packing it up and re-loading the car. We only need to keep enough for the final three days in the house. We also need to clean out the pantry and refrigerator in the hopes of leaving Cindy's house in the same condition we found it in August, a daunting task.

The best thing about today and the past few days is how well I feel. I feel pretty healthy, not strong and little endurance, but not sick either. That feeling isn't going to change now because I don't have to have any more chemotherapy! I just never get tired of saying that. It's such an empowering feeling. I know there will be some grogginess and tenderness after the surgery Tuesday to remove the port, but it will be short-lived, nothing like the feelings after chemo. NO MORE CHEMO!! No, I never get tired of saying that.

Final Friday

Well, now I can start counting down the days. This is the last Friday that we will spend at Cindy's house. Mark is making a new Hungry Girl recipe of chicken pizza, where the chicken is the crust, for our Shabbat dinner tonight. In less than a week, we will drive to Long Island for a wedding and then head south to Florida and our new home.

Yesterday we had a great time eating at the kosher Subway for lunch one last time. In fact, we ordered lunch to take out and eat here at the house today. I also tried to take some pictures, but I had forgotten to put the memory card back in my camera, so that was useless. Mark reminded me that I could take pictures on my new phone, so I did. The problem is that I'm not sure I know how to get them from my phone to this blog. If you see pictures here today, then you'll know I was successful. No pictures? No success. LOL

After lunch, we shopped at Seven Mile Market for the last time. It's really a good thing we are moving away because I have way too much fun shopping there and buying so many good things to eat. I wanted to make a celebration with Lowell last night as we finished our DVDs. Mark was making hamburgers for dinner, so I though I would buy some yummy pareve desserts. I got a box of assorted cookies, one radio bar (a rectangular piece of chocolate cake with a huge oval of marshmallow on top, completely drenched in chocolate icing), an eclair, and a piece of apple strudel. Lowell and I shared all of that and ate every bit. UGH. We also finished the fruits from the day before and ate some sourdough pretzels. Hey, at least the word sourdough is in them. I even ate sauerkraut with dinner. Double Ugh. For solidarity, Lowell ate some sauerkraut, too, even though he doesn't like it either. It was such a fun evening, but bittersweet at the same time. We plan to see him Tuesday at the kosher Chinese restaurant Umani's, and then that will be that. I thanked him profusely for coming by every Thursday while I was here. He really helped me get through this difficult time. I so looked forward to those Thursdays. I told him how proud we are of him. He's such a mensch and a good friend to his friends. I could barely contain my tears after he left. I hugged and kissed him at least twice on his way to the door. Sniff. I miss him already.

After shopping, but before we went home, we stopped at the Evergreen. This place was amazing. I would truly recommend that anyone in the area who hasn't been there GO! There is an $8 charge to take the tour of the mansion, but you can get one dollar off with your AAA card. It was built by the B&O Railroad president. The house started out with 12 rooms and over the years was expanded to 48. The rooms are filled with the treasures the Garrett family collected over generations, including over 30,000 rare books. The tour was supposed to go an hour, but after an hour and fifteen minutes, I knew we had a LOT more to do and I couldn't do it. I was feeling weak and sick. I told the docent I needed to leave, so he showed us back to the main exit. I was pleased that I could stand up for over an hour and listen, but I was sad that I couldn't do it all. I really need to build back my endurance. There was also an exhibit of photos from the late 1800s done by a photographer named Curtis. These were pictures of Native Americans. Mark was especially interested in seeing that exhibit (there is no charge for that part), so when I asked to leave the tour at 3:15, it enabled Mark to have a leisurely look at the pictures. That part closed at 4 and he would have been disappointed if we had missed it. All in all, it was a really nice thing to do, even though I wasn't able to finish the tour.

The predicted snowstorm for last night sort of fizzled. We got an inch or two and the roads were icy, so that let the schools go in 2 hours late. We hadn't planned to leave the house today for any reason anyway, so I am content to sit inside and look at the white yard. It's pretty. It's also blustery. Snow is blowing off the garage roof, making it look like a little blizzard in the back yard. Pretty.

So I WAS successful, with some help from Mark, because my pictures were up there. There is only one of the mansion Evergreen, taken as we drove up the driveway. It barely does it justice, but I wasn't able to take any inside. There is just too much art in there, I guess. The Subway pictures aren't that great, but I was hoping to show the similarities and differences between the ordinary Subway and the kosher one. We have heard there is a kosher one in Miami, so maybe when we are down there sometimes for the beach, we'll try to find it.

A day later

I want to thank everyone for their comments yesterday and for the emails I received. They did remind me that "this, too, shall pass." I was revived by the comments. Thank you.

I did finally dress yesterday, about 20 minutes before Lowell came over. It seemed like a struggle, but I didn't want him to find me in my bathrobe. He does read this now and then, but he's not a regular, so he might not notice this! LOL

Once he came over, I did feel better. It lifted my spirits to hang out with him for a few more hours. It was Tu B'Shevat last night, birthday of the trees. Most of the time in the past we made a Tu B'Shevat seder with friends in our house or joined others at the synagogue for a seder. This would include eating 15 different kinds of fruit. Mark and I decided not to do a whole seder last night; we didn't really have our supplies up here. Instead we just bought a bunch of Israeli fruits to snack on with Lowell while we watched the DVD: dates, pomegranate, figs, grapes, almonds. They were delicious. We watched our five episodes, leaving the final five for tonight. It's going to be a celebration tonight as we complete our five seasons of the show. It has been so much fun! We do plan to see him one more time next week before we go. He will make plans to come to Florida in the spring or early summer, so it won't be too long before we see him again.

Last night was the first night I did not take any oxycodone at bedtime to help me sleep through the aches. I really didn't have any significant aching yesterday. This morning I noticed that my toes are tingling and there is a black spot on half of my big toe. These are typical Taxol side effects. Today is also the day my white blood cell count will hit its lowest point. Hopefully, I will get through this one more day without a fever and be home free tomorrow! It is really pleasant to think that no more toxic chemicals are going to get pumped in to my body just when I'm starting to feel well again.

Our plans today include going to Seven Mile Market for the last time. We're shopping for some dinner supplies for later in the week, but since we leave next Thursday, we really need to eat what's in the pantry and fridge and not bring too much more into the house. Mark also wants to eat lunch at the kosher Subway one last time. That is the thing he's going to miss the most, I think. After lunch, we're going to go to the museum, Evergreen, on the campus of Loyola University. It's right in our neighborhood here, so it seems like a good thing to see before we leave. I'll try to take some pictures, if that's allowed.

48 hours have elapsed since I took the last Flagyl. I won't get excited about the C Diff being gone until at least six days have passed. It returned in five days the first time, 2 days the second time, and four days after the third time. Until five or six days go by after this fourth time, I'm just not going to believe I'm C Diff free. In the meantime, I'm still eating a lot of Activia, sourdough bread, and some sauerkraut. I plan to have some of that for dinner tonight. Mark is making hamburgers on English muffins for dinner. We have left over cole slaw and salad, so I think I should eat sauerkraut with that as well.

I heard that yesterday it was 50 degrees outside. Somehow I didn't know that until I was watching the 11 o'clock news last night. Geez, if I had been dressed and in a better mood, I would have enjoyed walking outside in that temperature. Today it's going back to the thirties, so there will not be a walk today. I am looking forward to getting to Florida where even if it's cold, I can walk in the indoor track at the Riviera Spa complex. Maybe I'll even get back to swimming. There's no reason why I can't do that now unless my bathing suit doesn't fit anymore! LOL!!

Wednesday blahs

Yesterday was a great day. We really had a blast with Bev and John. Mark planned the waffles and wings lunch, which was delicious. We also played "Storming the Castle," a new game based on the movie The Princess Bride. That was a lot of fun, and Bev was the big winner.

Then we met Lowell and Emily for dinner at Clyde's in Columbia. What a nice time that was. We all had delicious food and wonderful conversation. Emily is so cute and so very nice. I really feel like she's easy to talk to, maybe because she is a teacher. I think Lowell is lucky to have her, and I pray that their relationship continues.

Then there is today. I can't seem to get anything together today. I have not even gotten dressed. This is not the first time I got up and just couldn't seem to get dressed or motivated to do anything. Mark, as usual, is up early and following his routine. He's done laundry, shopped for the week's groceries, and watched some planned shows online and on TV. I have done nothing except doze on and off through TV. At least I did watch the last two week's worth of Biggest Loser. Sadly, I also ate about 2,000 calories already today, mostly during the four hours of the show. There is only one week left here in Baltimore since we drive away next Thursday. I hope I can get my self together when I am in a new environment. I'm not even looking forward to the cruise really. I'm so out of it, and so weak, that I look at the shore excursions and think, "I can't do that. It's too hard." Oh, my gosh, how did I get to this point. On our last cruise, I thought I could do anything! I was stronger and healthier than I had been in a decade. Now I'm in a dark pit where I don't think I can do anything. It's like a depression, but I don't know why. I am done chemo, so you'd think I'd feel very happy. All I can hope is that I get out of this blue mood soon. Lowell will be here at 5 for DVDs and dinner, also he'll come back tomorrow for the same. We'll finish the five seasons of the show How I Met Your Mother tomorrow. Maybe I'm depressed because I know that I'll be missing Lowell very soon. I'm excited to go to the wedding and go to Florida, but it means leaving everyone up here behind. When we were so busy selling the house and packing and moving, I didn't have time to think about what I was leaving behind. Now all I do is sit and think about that, leaving all our family and friends. Yes, they will come to visit us and we'll visit them. Yes, we'll have the internet to keep in touch, but I think I'm starting to realize how much I'm going to miss everyone.

Icy Tuesday

I'm sure my loyal readers noticed that I skipped yet another day yesterday. I was busy!

The weekend really was awful in terms of joint aches and muscle pains. I took the oxycodone four nights in a row, including last night. Sunday night I also took it again around 3 in the morning. I had never taken it twice during the same night, and it left me sleepy and foggy in the brain most of the whole day yesterday. Despite that, I still had a great day. It's also tolerable because I know it's over. Once this round of Taxol works its way out of my system, no more toxic chemicals will be going in! That's a great feeling.

Because I was foggy in the brain, I made Mark drive me to Debbie's house for Mah Jongg. There were 7 of us, and we played about three or four hours. I had no luck at all! It didn't matter whether I won or lost, it was about playing with my girlfriends for the last time in a long while. I don't know when I 'll get to play with this great bunch of ladies ever again. There is a Mahj group in Solivita that plays every Tuesday afternoon in the common areas. I do plan to go there and see how it is, but I really don't think it will be as much fun as playing with my close friends in our homes. We have had birthday parties, St. Patrick's Day parties, Valentine's Day, Fourth of July, MLK day, New Year's Eve, Super Bowl parties, and no reason at all parties over the years. All of us have taken turns hosting it in our homes with lunch or dinner. It has been a wonderful outlet for all of us, full of fellowship, friendship, food, and love. I will dearly miss it.

After I left, we shopped at Seven Mile Market for the lunch supplies for today. Assuming the icy road conditions don't stop them, Ben and John are traveling up from northern VA today to have lunch with us and play a new board game that Cindy gave us for Hanukkah. In the evening we met Saul and Phyllis at Caramel's, a kosher dairy restaurant in Pikesville that advertises kosher sushi. We know that they like sushi, so we thought it would be fun to eat there. We hadn't been there before, so we really had no idea what to expect. It was a bit disappointing. It's very casual, and a little on the unkempt side. Mark and I ordered the fallafel plate, and as Mark said, "This is the worst fallafel I ever had." I also ordered a broccoli calzone which was disappointing. Saul and Phyllis each ordered a raw salmon sushi plus a piece of vegetable pizza. They seemed happy with their choices and said the pizza was good. The best thing was the ice cream. Except for Mark, we all had hand dipped ice cream for dessert. Saul and Phyllis split a bow of tiramisu ice cream. I wolfed down a bigger bowl with two scoops, one pistachio and one tiramisu. Yes, that was the best thing of the evening. NO, I'm wrong. The best thing about the evening was hanging out with Saul and Phyllis. They have been our friends for over 32 years! I will miss them dearly, but we have plans to get together in the spring when they come to Florida. We will always stay in touch.

Tonight we plan to take Lowell and Emily out to dinner at Clyde's in Columbia. Her birthday is Friday, so I wanted to take them out in advance of that occasion. We've only met her once, and this is the only other chance there will be for a very long time get to know her a little better before we move. Lowell actually moved to his new home in Locust Point over the weekend. I hear that it went well. I think he's going to like the new place because it's in a more residential neighborhood, but his commute to work and grad school will be twice as long. I hope that works out well for him. I had hoped to go visit the new place before we leave the area next week, but time is running out. Our schedule is packed tight with things to do and people to see.

Of course, this is Tuesday, so it's weigh-in day. I will admit I made NO attempt at all to restrict my calories last week or even write anything down. In fact, it must have been quite the opposite. Obviously I ate a LOT because I gained six and a half pounds from last Tuesday. Last week I was excited to have dropped four, but this week I picked them back up plus more. Sad, but true. I was 245.6 this morning. Just awful.

Our time here in Maryland is definitely running out. Next Thursday we will be driving up to Long Island for a wedding, and then the following Sunday we will begin a three day drive home. I hope the weather cooperates with those plans!

Skipped a Day

I hope no one got too upset that I skipped yesterday. I was having a bad day yesterday, full of body aches and pains from the Taxol. They started up Friday night, so I took the oxycodone and did sleep well. Saturday I just couldn't wake up. I got out of bed around 8 a.m., but I just dozed on and off in the chair in the living room until 3 p.m. It was kind of weird. Then I just kept sitting there with the aches and pains, but I didn't want to take anymore of those pills because it would just make me sleep again.

I wanted to watch the Ravens/Steelers game, so I did. That was depressing. It's a sad day in Baltimore today. The game was exciting, though, I have to give it that. Mark and I also watched a movie called Charlie St. Cloud. It was OK. I went up to bed at 10:30, took 2 oxycodone pills, and promptly fell asleep.

Today I can still feel the aches and pains, but I think they are slightly better. This time is really running a lot like the third Taxol, so I expect I'll feel achey all day today and suddenly all better tomorrow. Still, this is the very last time, so I don't mind.

I'm going to Kip and Denise's house this afternoon for dinner. Before we go, I have to run to Giant to get supplies to make a salad. We already bought ourselves some kosher chicken and roasted potatoes for Mark. He won't be able to eat the rice Denise is making. I also bought a pareve key lime pie to bring for dessert that looks absolutely fabulous. I can't wait to eat a slice tonight!

Lowell and his roommates moved yesterday into their new house in Locust Point, a nice neighborhood in Baltimore near Ft. McHenry. I hope it went smoothly for them. I'm hoping that Mark and I might have a chance to go visit the new house before we leave the area. Also Evey and Eric sent out their "hold the date" email last night, so the date is now officially public, September 4, 2011 in Boston. It should be a beautiful wedding.

New plans

Yesterday when I went to the surgeon's office for my pre-op, I remembered that the oncologist said to get the port removed but not when my white cell counts are down. So what did I do? I accepted the time they gave me for next Thursday without realizing that that is the day my counts are at their LOWEST! Oops. I told the surgeon, and he was very, very accommodating. They did all the arrangements to switch it to Tuesday, January 25 in the morning. I was so grateful for that. Now I'll have that down in the morning, get my final blood draw in the chemo center through a regular vein, and visit my oncologist for my last check up all on the same day. Wow! That will literally be my last time at St. Agnes.

Also some of my plans yesterday didn't work out, all due to my forgetfulness. Maybe I can blame it on chemo brain! We left the surgeon's office in plenty of time for us to drive over to the hospital. Mark had to drop me off this time since he had to get to Laurel, nearly 20 miles from the hospital, for his endocrinologist's appointment. My shot was for 4:05. Then Lowell was going to come about 5:15 to pick me up. That way we could go home and start watching our DVDs. Well, that would have been great except for one thing. When I pulled up to the hospital, I just hopped out of the driver's seat and went in to the hospital. Mark slid over and drove off, with my set of keys still in the ignition. I never thought about that until Lowell and I got to the house and realized we were locked out! I had no keys!! It was about 5:50. I thought Cindy would be back by 6:30 and Mark should have arrived maybe 20 minutes later. So what to do? Well, it was freezing cold, so we weren't going to just sit on the doorstep. We drove five minutes down the road to a local coffee shop called Evergreen and bought some lattes. It was nice because I had never been in there before, so it was fun to see a new place, but I also had lots of extra time just to talk with Lowell and find out what's going on in his life, a nice bonus to locking myself out. Mark beat Cindy home, arriving about 6:50; Cindy got back at 7. We only got to watch two episodes of our show, but we had a great dinner. It was a fine evening after all.

Today we have to drive back to Laurel because there was a snafu with Mark's meds and they weren't ready at the pharmacy. That was weird, but hopefully we can get them today. As long as we are in Laurel, there will be other errands to do as well: bank, liquor store, grocery store, lunch out, maybe even the car wash. It should be a fine day as long as I don't get much bone/muscle pain from the Taxol. Sometimes it starts on Friday and sometimes it doesn't. The best thing is that this is the LAST time I have to think about this!

Out of the Tunnel

I did it. I have exited the long, dark tunnel called chemotherapy, a place I NEVER wanted to enter in the first place. In October, I could not believe there was an end to this tunnel, but yesterday I came out the other side. It was cold and snowy out there. Ha Ha!!

Some picture explanations:
1. Me walking into the building.
2. Me very happily waiting in my chair to get started.
3. Accessing my port for the final time.
4. Mark having his 3 o'clock nap!
5. Standing by the bell when it's over.

Seriously, the final chemo session went well yesterday. Despite adding an extra bag of Benadryl and the other drug added in session 7 before the Taxol, I still had a reaction. It was a little milder, but they still had to stop it and give me yet another little bit of Benadryl. I started at 9:30 a.m. and the Taxol bagged drained out at 4:05 p.m. It was a long session, but it was the last one!!

On your last day, the St. Agnes staff have a tradition called the Bell Ringing Ceremony. Years ago one of their patients presented them with a big bronze plaque that had a poem engraved on it and a huge brass bell. When the final bag is done and your port is de-accessed, your nurse makes an announcement loud and clear to all in the room, "I have a Bell Ringer here!" Everyone stops what they are doing and gathers around the bell. I read the poem aloud and then rang the bell three times. Everyone burst into applause! I had Mark take lots of pictures and even make a video of me reading the poem and ringing the bell. Every nurse in the room hugged me.

I was actually the second Bell Ringer that day. The first lady rang the bell at 1:20 p.m. when there were still many patients to see it and applaud for her. By the time I went up, it was more like 4:20 p.m. and there was only one other patient still there, but it didn't matter to me. I was so excited and happy. I actually teared up a bit. I also recited the poem I had written for them on their Edible Arrangement card. The fruit was delivered at 12:40 p.m., and Dr. Griffiths, my oncologist, actually came over to the chemo room to thank me personally. Everyone was so happy to get it. They put it in their break room, and everyone kept stopping by to thank me and tell me what they ate! It was half gone by the end of the day. I'm sure they'll polish off the rest today.

The only thing I was dreading yesterday was sitting up all night. It is so lonely and boring, plus I tend to overeat. I just didn't want to do that last night, so I tried to stick to my routine. I watched the news and went up at 11:30; I read my book until midnight like always. Then I did something I've never done; I medicated myself with 2 oxycodone pills hoping they would knock me out. They did! I slept until 4:30 a.m. when the alarm went off to take the Flagyl. I slept a little off and on until Mark's alarm went off at 6:30 A.M. Still I got up at 7 and felt refreshed. This was a good thing because I have a busy day planned.

Mark and I are shopping at Seven Mile Market this morning for dinner supplies. Mark has gotten into a show on the Travel Channel called Man v. Food. The guy does some crazy things. Every now and then Mark sees something he just must make. Tonight it's a donut burger. Yup. We're buying kosher, pareve glazed donuts, hamburger meat, beef fry (substitute for bacon), and soy cheese for dinner. Slice the donuts in half lengthwise like a hamburger bun. Fry the inside parts of the donut in the grease left over from frying the beef fry. Make the burgers. Then build the burger with cheese and beef fry inside the donut. The sugary glazed side goes next to the meat and you hold onto the fried part of the donut. Oy, I'm not sure about this, but along with spinach and salad, this is tonight's dinner. Not so good for my diet either, I might add.

At 2 p.m. I have an appointment with the surgeon. He will be doing a pre-op physical and going over things in preparation for the port removal surgery scheduled for next week. It will be done under IV anaesthesia in the hospital. I don't think it will take as long to get it out as to put it in, but there is still general anaesthesia involved, so I'll be out of it the rest of the day. That will be next Thursday.

At 4:05 I will get my last, exorbitantly expensive neulasta shot. This time Mark has to drop me off at the cancer center around 3:40 or so because he has to drive down to Laurel to have an appointment with his endocrinologist. It was hard for him to get this appointment, so he had to take what was available. I can sit in the lobby and read until my shot. Then Lowell is going to come to the hospital around 5:15 or so to pick me up, so we can come back to watch the DVDs and have our donut burgers. I should have lots of time for reading at the hospital today while I'm waiting in the lobby. I don't mind. I'm glad Lowell was willing to come get me!!

The best news of all? In just one month, my hair will start growing back!

This is IT!!!!

I loved spending the night in the hotel last night. The giant king-sized bed was very comfortable, and we kept the temperature nice and warm. I have always loved going to hotels, so this was quite lovely. Since we moved into Cindy's house on Sept. 13, we haven't slept anywhere else.

The snow was as predicted, about four inches in most of the Baltimore area. The road crews were out all night clearing and salting, so there are no real issues with getting out of this hotel and driving the three miles back to the hospital. The local schools are all having two hour delays, which means it really isn't that bad out there. I bet my teacher friends are disappointed they didn't get the day off! I can see the main road from my hotel window, and it's quite clear with traffic running just fine. I'm still glad we stayed here because it chopped nearly 7 miles off the drive, plus we still don't know what it might have looked like up on Cindy's street and in her neighborhood. I paid for peace of mind and proud of it.

Today is the day!! I brought my camera, so Mark is going to be taking pictures. It's the day I really never believed would come back in October when this process started. It's the last chemotherapy infusion. I am excited!!

We will leave here about 9 a.m. to go clear the car off and drive the three miles back to the hospital. This is the first time I am walking into the cancer center feeling happy and excited. I remember the first time I went for chemo in October; I felt afraid, anxious, nervous. I dreaded it, but I am in a totally different place today. I am sure that all people going through this sort of thing can relate to my feelings today.

At St. Agnes they have a tradition after your last chemotherapy infusion that I will participate in today, and Mark will take some pictures of it. I'll post the pictures and explain the tradition tomorrow. This way you have something to look forward to in tomorrow's blog.

I also sent my oncologist, the nurses, and all the staff at the cancer center a HUGE Edible Arrangement that should arrive today at 1 p.m. I'll still be sitting in the chair getting my last Taxol when it is delivered. Hopefully Mark will get a picture of it when it arrives. During my first hospital stay, I was thinking about this day. I was trying to think of something nice to give the people at the cancer center for all their tender care during this time. Originally I had planned to find a nice photo that my soon-to-be son-in-law, Eric, had taken. I was going to print it out, mount it nicely, add a poem, frame it, and present it. I also briefly considered singing a song, but I threw that out the window because it would take rehearsal time and energy that I did not know that I would have. (REALLY glad I'm not doing THAT today!) Suddenly it was yesterday and I had done nothing, so I thought of how much I liked the two Edible Arrangements I received during this time, one from Evey and one from Lowell's Emily. So in the hotel last night I ordered it, but I also remembered that during that stay in the hospital I had actually jotted down a short poem on an index card. Better yet, I found that index card knotted up in the bottom of my purse, so I dictated it to the girl on the phone taking my order. It will be on the card when the fruit arrives today. Here is what will be on the card:

To Dr. Griffiths, the nurses, and staff at the St. Agnes Chemotherapy Center

The way is long and quite unfair.
You sit and wonder how you got there,
But the angels of St. Agnes are by your side
To walk with you and be your guide.

Thank you for all you have done for me,
Rebecca Silverstein

One other exciting thing happened yesterday. I finally saw Robin B., another of my high school friends. I had not seen her since graduation, and I'm pretty sure she did not remember me at all! Only a little while ago, when going out to Kelsey's with Don and Sharon, did I learn she and her twin sister Evelyn were both nurses at the St. Agnes chemo center. All this time I had never run into her. When she walked in to the area yesterday while I was waiting to have my blood drawn, I recognized her right away, but I didn't say anything. She walked out. I asked the other nurses if that was Robin, and they said yes, but they didn't know her maiden name. When I asked if she had a twin named Evelyn, they said yes. Then I knew it was her. When she came back, we had a nice talk. In fact she was serving as my doctor's nurse that day in place of the usual one, so she learned ALL about me. Ha Ha!! She has worked there for over 30 years. Her twin Evelyn also worked there almost as long, but is now retired. I have to say Robin looked wonderful and just like I remember her in high school. Although I remembered her well, I could tell she really did not remember me. She asked more than once what my name was again and said several times she would get her old yearbook out and look me up. That's OK. I'm pretty sure I don't look anything like I did back then. Well, I had hair then for one thing, but I'm also much fatter!! Still I enjoyed my conversation with her.

Well, I'm off to the hotel breakfast and then to clear the car for the short drive to the hospital. This is an exciting morning!

D O W N, DOWN, down, dn

Yes, this week I finally went down in weight. Well, actually I went down one pound from 244 to 243 last week, but this week I really felt that I had worked harder at keeping my calories lower. I have been rewarded with a four pound weight loss. This morning I'm only 239. WHOEE!! I'm excited to be out of the two-forties because it was just getting too scary at how much I had put back on. If I can spend the next three weeks behaving myself, I might get out of the two-thirties by the cruise on Valentine's Day.

This afternoon I go to the cancer center to have my blood drawn for labs and meet with the oncologist. This is not the last time I have to do these two things because after the last chemo infusion tomorrow, I still have to come back two weeks later for a final blood draw, labs, and doctor's appointment for a follow-up. They will want to be sure I have recovered well from this last infusion. I have felt quite well this past week, so I have no doubt that my blood work today will be completely normal. For the first time, I'm excited to be going to the cancer center!

We made a hotel reservation at a Holiday Inn Express that is just three miles away from the cancer center. The snow should start around 4 p.m. and be heaviest from 8 p.m. to about 2 a.m. tomorrow, and some reports still call for four inches or more. I don't care how much snow is coming anymore. The reservation has been made, so we are going. This way we have a short drive into the hotel today when we get out around 3:30 or so this afternoon. We plan to hunker down and go nowhere else until tomorrow morning. This way if the roads are slick or snow covered, I only need to drive three miles to get that final infusion tomorrow morning. I don't want anything to stop that!

The countdown is now at 16 days left in Baltimore.

Big Week coming UP!

Today begins the week of my last chemotherapy session. I never thought this week would come when I first started this journey. In some ways it feels like it was a long time ago that I sat in my empty house of 29 years, crying after hanging up the phone when the surgeon gave me the bad news. In some ways it feels like yesterday. In any case, this is the week that I will have my last chemotherapy infusion, and that feels AWESOME!

Meanwhile, today I'm going to drive to Silver Spring and take my good friend Jan out to lunch. She has suffered excruciating back pain for years, and in December she finally had a very complicated surgery. I am thankful that she is recovering well and able to go out to lunch with me today. When I was recovering from my surgery and starting chemo in the fall, she was one of the ones who came up here to take me out to lunch. It was obvious that day how much pain she was in, yet she made the effort to drive an hour to come up here and try to comfort me. I appreciated it very much. Today I hope I can comfort her a little bit.

There is supposed to be four plus inches of snow coming tomorrow afternoon into the night. Mark and I have been wimping out on every snow forecast this year. He has always hated snow. I like it when I get to stay in and watch it. I'm not crazy about shoveling it or driving in it. Saturday I canceled all my plans, and then there was virtually no snow. I could have done everything and not worried, but I went with "better safe than sorry." This time I'm concerned the snow will interrupt my appointments at the hospital on Tuesday and Wednesday. I have to go tomorrow for labs and the doctor's visit. Those are in the afternoon when the snow should be falling thickly. Right now we are leaning toward checking into a hotel that is only three miles from the hospital tomorrow night. We're hoping those roads are more likely to be cleared than the ones around the house up here. There is high speed internet in the hotel, so I'll still be able to blog!

I did stay on my food plan yesterday, but that meant I ate about 2100 calories. No change in my weight from yesterday morning to this morning. Tomorrow is the morning that counts. Unless I totally blow it eating lunch out today with Jan, I should show about a three pound weight loss for the week. That's a good week. I'll let you know tomorrow morning!

Be safe in the snow tomorrow.

Finding control

I stayed on my food plan for two days now. I have dropped a few pounds without even exercising. Of course, that will not continue. When you put on a lot of weight fairly quickly, it's easy to drop some of it just as fast. It's just water. There will come a time when it's actually fat that has to be lost. That takes a lot more effort. Still, I'm pleased that I feel more in control of my eating. It's been a long time since I had that feeling.

Mark took off early this morning to go to our friend Saul's house for an early morning minyan and traditional walk around the block to end the shiva period. I probably should have gone, too, but I couldn't get myself up. I also knew that I couldn't walk around that big block. His house is on a really big block that also includes a big hill. I don't have the strength for that yet. It's also freezing cold! I hope Mark dressed warmly. I didn't even see him before he left.

He did leave me a nice hot pot of decaf coffee and three low-carb pancakes on a plate. Hey, it's pancake Sunday! I ate them with four veggie sausage links and an Acitivia yogurt, for a total of 430 calories. Yum. I had three cups of coffee as I leisurely read my sister's NY Times. Now I'm watching a romantic chick flick on TBS, The Prince and Me. It's pretty fun, and not at all something Mark would want to watch!!

Last night we watched the original True Grit with John Wayne. I know I saw it when it came out, but I did not remember any of it. When we went to the new one with Kevin Bridges, I enjoyed it very much. It was quite entertaining to see how close the remake was to the original. Now I'm interested in reading the book some day. It's not available for Kindle, so I think I'll wait until we are in Florida. I'll get a library card and check out that book first.

I'll be going out to lunch on Monday, but other than that, I have no reason not to be able to control my calories until I weigh in again Tuesday morning. I am going to try my best to stay on track. I'd love to report a nice loss on Tuesday instead of yet another gain. There are so many benefits, both physical and mental, to losing the weight again and returning to around 210 or less. I want to stay in control again; I really do. I have only one more chemo session to get through. I don't anticipate any surprises there, and we will be driving out of Baltimore in just 18 days. It's almost unbelievable.

Snow and Wimping Out

I think Mark and I are wimping out today. We had grandiose plans that included going to shul in the morning, playing Mah Jongg all afternoon (Mark would have been at the gym), having dinner out, and then going to Saul's house for another shiva minyan. This meant leaving the house around 9 a.m. and not getting home until after 10 p.m. Then it snowed. The forecast kept changing, but when we went to bed, they had moved it up to a bigger event. This morning they had pulled it back to 1-3 inches. Normally that would not bother me too much, but up here in Baltimore we don't trust the roads. After that horrible episode of driving 9.5 miles to the hospital in two and a half hours in one inch of snow, we are a little leery. The temperatures are not going much above freezing, and after dark they will be well below again. I just don't want to worry about what the roads will be like. Going to Greenbelt and then Silver Spring would be about 90 miles round trip. It just seemed like too much. Sorry everybody, we just couldn't do it.

Instead we are hunkering down for another day inside. I said yesterday that I would do a lot of reading, but I didn't. I only read the usual amount of one book just before bed. I watched a lot of TV and dozed off a lot. It was quite a lazy day. BTW, I was asked what four books I am reading simultaneously. Well, I am reading two classics: Uncle Tom's Cabin, in actual book form, and Wuthering Heights, from iBooks on the iPhone. I'm also reading two recent novels: The Men and the Girls, in actual book form, and Heat Wave, on my Kindle. This one is the "second" book written by Richard Castle. If you watch the TV show Castle, you'll see the humor in that. It's pretty cool.

At least I did follow my food plan yesterday. I ate 2100 calories, not really a diet plan, but it was good because I did what I planned. I also dropped a few pounds, mostly water. I am going to try really hard today to stick to the plan again. I have written down today's planned foods, and it is about 1700 calories. When I was really trying hard to lose weight, I would consider that a BAD day, but now I'm thinking that will be an awesome day. As long as I'm eating 3 Activia yogurts and several servings of sourdough bread for the C Diff, it's hard to keep the calories down to 1200 and still feel like I'm eating enough nutrition. The main thing is to STOP eating 4000 calories a day! That's how I have ballooned up to over 240 pounds again. That and not moving very much anymore.

I will admit I have given up on the sauerkraut. I finished the original jar, and I thought I bought exactly the same brand again. UGH! I tried to eat it for lunch yesterday. After one bite, I threw it out. It was completely disgusting, very different than the other jar. The first jar was sour and nasty, but at least it was very crispy and crunchy with a vague taste of pickle. It was tolerable if not delicious. This jar was VERY sour, no resemblance to pickle taste, and soggy! That was the worst. The only thing making the other jar tolerable was the crunch. I don't know why this jar is so different even though it had the same label on it, but I do not intend to eat any of it. Sorry!

Mark and I plan to watch a lot of TV episodes online that we missed from last week. It will be a low-key day like yesterday. I admit I'm wimping out. In fact, it's only 10:15 a.m. and I already cannot see anymore snow flakes coming down. There probably is barely an inch of snow out on the sidewalk and car. One car went down our road and made a tire track. I'm sure I could do it, but I'm just wimping out today. I hope my Mah Jongg girls forgive me. I hope they all win lots of games, too!

Insurance and Doctors

Part of our chores for yesterday was to pick out new doctors for Florida. In addition to a Family Practice doctor, I need an oncologist, a radiation oncologist, and a gynecologist. Mark needs an endocrinologist and a cardiologist. To complicate matters, he has a new federal government Blue Cross Blue Shield program that requires him to use in-network doctors, and I have a new CIGNA plan that also must use in-network doctors. Mark is doubly insured since I still have him on my plan, so we had to pick out doctors (that we've never heard of) that aren't too far from our new house and accept both types of insurance.

Fortunately both plans have excellent websites that list the doctors, so finding doctors in both plans wasn't too hard to do. Still, we have no idea whether we will like them or not, but we can always change again later if we don't. In the meantime, I need to be seen by the oncologist and radiation oncologist within a few days of arriving in Florida so my treatment can continue smoothly.

Once we picked out the doctors, I called them to introduce myself and try to make appointments. No one would make appointments for us until they received our records from the doctors up here. Hm...so our plans to go to the museum were put off to some future date. Instead we went to the hospital and to the doctors' offices in Columbia and Catonsville to sign papers to get our files sent to Florida. It all went smoothly, but it was kind of a lot of driving around. Still, the files should be on their way, and next week I can call back and try to get those appointments with the oncologists set up. So much to do! There's always a lot to do when you move, but changing insurance and having to keep my treatment going without interruption adds a little to the pressure.

Lowell and I enjoyed a lot more episodes of How I Met Your Mother last night. There are only two more Thursdays when Lowell can come over, and we think we have 12 episodes left to finish season five. It looks like we'll have no trouble doing that. I sure am going to miss my Thursdays with Lowell.

I also had a lot of fun late last night g-chatting with Evey about wedding plans. That never gets old!!

Today I have absolutely NO PLANS!! I think I might go to the grocery store to buy some more decaf coffee in Keurig cups, but then again, I might not even get dressed at all today. I'm currently reading four books simultaneously, so I might make some progress in each of them. I'm also going to try to stick to my diet plan. I have already written down the foods I should eat today. If I don't stray, it will be about 2200 calories and included the hated sauerkraut. I'll let you know tomorrow if I stuck to it or strayed.

Sniffing

My nose is running so much this morning. UGH. I don't know if it's the same cold still here or a new cold trying to get started.

I went to the podiatrist yesterday for the last time. He cut my toenails, but by the next time they need to be cut, I'll be off chemo! That means I can find a salon in Florida and have a real pedicure again. That will be nice. I'd like to see them polished again. It wouldn't be bad to see my nails polished again either.

After the podiatry appointment, we met Suzie and Evelyn at TJ's for lunch. That was also a lot of fun. I had not seen either of them for a very long time, so we had lots to catch up on. Actually, Evelyn is one of my followers and loyal readers on this blog, so she pretty much knew everything I was doing! LOL They both also looked beautiful! Evelyn had just had her hair done and was wearing perfect makeup. She looked gorgeous. Suzie always has beautiful nails. This time she had cute snowmen painted on them. I miss having nice nails and makeup and HAIR!! Someday those will all come back again, I know, but I still miss them. I guess I could put some make up on, but I just haven't felt like gussying up these days.

The menu at TJ's is really a good one for those who don't want to eat meat. Mark had a grilled salmon with salad and baked potato. He said it was delicious. I must admit that I did not make a wise choice. I should have had a salmon salad or maybe what Mark got. Instead I got a fried fish sandwich with cole slaw, fries, and key lime pie. It was delicious, but loaded with fat and calories. Then for dinner we had the leftover fried chicken, buffalo wings, cole slaw, and waffles. I bet I had 4,000 calories yesterday.

After dinner we went back to Saul's house for another shiva. There were far less people there this time. It's sort of typical for more people to show up at the first couple of shiva minyans and then the crowd drops off. For that very reason we decided to go last night. It was nicer for us since we were able to have time to have conversations with people and actually get a book for the service. Unfortunately, it also meant I could make it to the food table where I ate two fancy cookies and two fudgey candies. I also ate a clementine. I guess I should have stuck with the clementine. OY! More calories.

Today I am going to do some paperwork chores. I have to catch up on filing Blue Cross/Blue Shield EOB forms into my notebook. I'm also behind on logging in how the seventh chemo session went. I will be mailing out hospital bills to my special cancer insurance company, too. I also need to find new doctors in Florida and call to set up appointments for the first week of February. It's especially important that I get a radiation oncology appointment. I'm going to be starting the radiation about three weeks later than I should because of the cruise. I don't want it to put off any longer than that. Later today we plan to play tourist in this area and go to a museum called the Evergreen. It's in a big mansion up on the campus of Loyola College. That means it's about a three minute drive from here! I'll let you know what's in there tomorrow.

Lowell is expected here tonight for plenty of episodes of How I Met Your Mother. We are on season five, which is the last bunch of DVDs that he has. Season six is actually on TV right now. Once I finish season five on DVD with Lowell, which we are on track to finish before we leave the area, I'm hoping I can watch some of season six online.

I really didn't have any significant aches and pains yesterday. I also woke up this morning without any pain either. I'm probably finished with that now until the next session. YAY!

Yesterday was SLOW.

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 8 a.m., by 12:30 p.m. I had my Flagyl prescription and took the first pill, then I went back to bed. I could NOT wake up yesterday. I'm not sure why, but I was just sleepy all day. I set my alarm for 3 p.m. because I needed time to shower and dress and get my act together before Lowell came over. That worked.

Lowell came on time at 5 p.m. He brought two pieces of mail for me. YAY! One envelope contained the medical cards for our new CIGNA health care plan. Since I have to go to the cancer center next Tuesday, I was relieved to have the card.

We watched three episodes of How I Met Your Mother, then we had the wonderful waffles and wings dinner with cole slaw. Yum. At 7 p.m. we were on the road to Silver Spring and the shiva at Saul and Phyllis' house. It was PACKED in there, which we knew it would be. Many of our friends who were there had not seen Lowell in a long time, so they appreciated getting to say "Hi" to him. I was glad we went, but it was so crowded there was no room to turn around. That's a good thing. It says a lot about how much the Oresky family is loved.

As the evening wore on, my joint/muscle pain increased. It was pretty intense by midnight, so I eventually took 2 oxycodone again. After that, I did sleep straight from 12:30 to 4:30 when the alarm went off for the Flagyl. I took the pill and fell right back to sleep until 8 a.m. I hope I can stay awake better today than yesterday because I have a lot to do today! So far I do feel more alert.

I have an 11:20 a.m. appointment with the podiatrist. This will be the third and last time I have to go to the podiatrist to have my toe nails trimmed. I'll be off chemo and back in Florida the next time it needs to be done. As far as I know, I can go back to a salon for a pedicure then. Whoee! That will be fun!

After the podiatrist, I'm meeting Suzie and Evelyn at TJ's in Beltsville for a lovely lunch. These two ladies are singers with CMC and also sang for me in the Mishkan Torah choir. I have not seen either of them in a very long time, so I'm looking forward to this luncheon today.

It's going to be cold out there, but I'm very excited about today's plans. I hope everyone else has a great day, too.

Like a Bad Penny

The picture is of me, Don, and Sharon at Kelsey's Irish pub in Ellicott City last night. Mark took it of the three of us while we were waiting to order. I took my scarf off so Don and I could compare our bald heads. He joked that he had more hair than I do, and it's NO JOKE!! Sharon and I went to high school together, and I think that's the last time I saw her. It was a lot of fun to talk about those old days.

I slept in until 8:15 a.m. this morning. That's what happens when you don't have any alarms going off, I guess. At 8:30 I realized the C Diff had returned like a bad penny. I didn't want to believe it. I went off the Flagyl last Friday morning, and I had four great days. I really started to believe that this was the time that it was gone. Well, it had other ideas. I have now been in the bathroom two times within a half hour, and I am also starting to feel those terrible cramps that come along with C Diff. Mark is going out to shop in a little while, so he'll be filling my next prescription for the Flagyl again. The oncologist did kind of hint that as long as I was on chemotherapy, it would be very hard to get rid of C Diff. Maybe she's right. Maybe I just need to stay on Flagyl until the chemo is out of my system. Maybe then it can finally get brought under control. I was told not to take Florastor until I was off chemo, so around the end of January, I can start taking it as a supplement.

It's weigh-in Tuesday also. I tried to track my food this week, but I didn't do a really good job of it. I never had a day with less than 2000 calories, and I had several days with significantly more calories. I only took a walk once during the week. Last night I had fish and chips with cole slaw at the Irish pub. It was a lot of fun, but also a lot of calories. We ate lunch out, also, but Lonestar now prints the calories of all its foods in the menu. I had the 7 oz. grilled salmon and rice pilaf for 490 calories and a side of asparagus for 80 calories. Mark and I also shared a mushroom and cheese appetizer that did not have a calorie count listed. Mushrooms are very low, but there was a lot of cheese. I estimated 300 calories for that. So lunch was 870 calories. No matter what I ate last week, I still dropped one pound to 243 this morning. I guess I should just be happy about that. I can't say I'm really happy this morning because of the return of the C Diff. Flagyl works well and quickly to keep it under control. When I'm on Flagyl, I don't have any symptoms. I'm comfortable at least, so that's something anyway.

Today our friends Bev and John canceled coming up for lunch. They both have bronchitis, and their doctor said not to be around me until they were on antibiotics for 24 hours. That will be too late for them to be here for lunch. Hopefully we can reschedule for a few weeks from now. Meanwhile Lowell is coming over for TV and dinner tonight, so he'll get to have the waffles and wings and cole slaw we were going to serve Bev and John for lunch today. It won't be a low calorie dinner for me tonight, but we already have the food here. After dinner, Mark, Lowell, and I will be going to Saul's house for the shiva minyan for his beloved dad, Seymour. I expect there will be a large crowd there.

Happy Birthday to my wonderful sister-in-law Denise. I hope your day is awesome!!

Funeral today

This morning Mark and I attended the funeral of our friend Saul's father. Seymour Oresky, born in 1924, was a great man. He had three fabulous children, many grandchildren, and a great-grandchild on the way. The synagogue was packed for this funeral in his honor. After the beautiful service, during which his oldest son Alan played the violin so poignantly, we went to the cemetery. It was a clear morning, blustery and cold. That did not stop the large crowd from gathering around the grave for the additional service. As customary at a Jewish funeral, we all took turns shoveling dirt into the grave. This is a deeply spiritual and moving event, at least to me. I think most people find it a very rewarding thing to do.

Our hearts and prayers go out to Saul and Phyllis and the entire Oresky family on the loss of their father.

We were unable to go back for lunch with the Oresky family, although we thanked them for the invitation. Mark and I had to go up to Laurel to get his prescription refilled. Then we went to Pikesville to do some grocery shopping. Tonight Mark is making a tortilla soup, which only Cindy will eat. It will be nice for her to come home from work around 7:30 and find a hot pot of soup waiting for her. Mark and I are going out to Ellicott City to meet two of my high school friends, Don and Sharon, for dinner at an Irish pub. That should be lots of fun!!

I had quite a lot of aches and pains again last night, so I did take two of the oxycodone at bedtime. I find that it really allows me to fall asleep and stay asleep all night. So far today has not been so bad, but there are random stray pains in the joints now and then. If it stays at this level the rest of the evening, I should not need narcotics tonight. That would be nice. Also my cold seems finally to be gone! That's a good thing. Mark got his one week after me, so I predict he will have his until next Monday! So sad for him.