Everyone is doing errands.

I woke up to an inch or so of icy slush, but I still got to my 10:40 a.m. nail salon appointment. I also wrote my checks for the month, mailed five bills, and went to three banks. I just got home, and I'm glad to settle down for the day and go nowhere else. Everyone is out there doing errands, it seems, especially sitting in drive-in lines for the banks. Note to self: don't go to any banks on December 31 ever again! Happy New Year to everyone. Have a safe time if you go out. Personally, I'm staying in, watching TV, drinking some champagne, and going to bed at 12:01.

Great shopping!

Today I will be taking my daughter to the train station so she can go to NJ and spend New Year's Eve at her boyfriend's house. They've never spent a New Year's eve together, so it will be lots of fun for them. Mark and I will spend a quiet one at home, as usual. I also plan to go to Kohl's and buy some new pants and tops with the gift card that I got from my step-mother, plus I have $20 in Kohl's Cash that will expire on Saturday. Evey and I are going to shop together. It will be fun. No straying from my diet planned for today!

Just got back from Kohl's. I got three pairs of pants and three cute tops. I'm very excited because I can go to a regular store and find things! Two of the pants have buttons and zippers! I haven't done that in decades. All were in size 22, but two of them were 22 petite. I was very excited by the shopping trip. Hm... the clerk did ask if I wanted the senior discount. I didn't know they had that, so I asked how old you had to be. She said 60, so I honestly told her I wouldn't be 60 until the summer, but she said, "Oh, I'll give it to you anyway." Hey, I may look old to her, but I was happy to knock another 15% off the price!

Then Evey and I went to Bob Evan's for brunch. It's so cold out, and she had eaten no breakfast, so even though it was only 11:10 a.m. we felt like eating some hot food. I had a plain grilled salmon with a dry baked potato and some broccoli plus a salad with no cheese or dressing. I think it was a great lunch. I did sneak a forkful of Evey's cinnamon pancakes. It was like dessert.

After we drop Evey off at the train station, Mark and I will walk the mall for 40 minutes or so and then see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. It's a going to be a busy but great day.

Elevator Weight

It's Tuesday. That means weigh-in day. Today I was 213.6, which is exactly what I was two weeks ago. Last week I was up five; this week I'm down the same five, like an elevator. I won't complain! After what I did the last few days, things could have been much, much worse. I looked at my calories for the week, and it appears that I averaged about 1750. I did some walking, not a lot, but some. I guess that means that what I suspected last week was true; there was a lot of water retention, and I lost it this week. Anyway, I should be able to have a good week this time. I'm going to finish last night's Chinese dinner for dinner tonight, and I will play Mah Jongg on Thursday with luncheon at a friend's house. That's it. The rest of the time there will be no excuses for not sticking to the plan. My week's goal is to lose 3.6 so that I can hit an even 210 by next Tuesday. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

What a weekend!!

I got back from a family weekend away to visit my sister, her family, and her new house. My husband, son, daughter and I took off Saturday morning. I had posted before that about how much eating I might do, and I DID! So this post will be quite a long litany of my overindulgences. Unless you like reading about other people's food, this isn't going to be a lot of fun for you to read, but I feel like writing it all down. So here goes.

Saturday morning started off with my usual breakfast (240 calories) and lunch was my usual Subway salad (190 calories). Dinner at my sister's house actually wasn't too far off the mark: turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing (not cooked in the bird so it wasn't too full of turkey grease), pickles, green beans, and rolls. That wasn't too bad. I indulged in two homemade cookies that my other sister brought even though my daughter, whom we named the "food police" this weekend, told me not to eat. After dinner, I had a half-inch slice of homemade pound cake, one bite of homemade carrot cake, and one sixteenth of a pumpkin pie. The "food police" said I should not have had the pound cake, but I did it anyway. It's so hard to calculate calories when you don't have recipes or ingredients, but I bet I had about 2000-2200 on Saturday, so I felt ok about that. We stayed overnight in a suite at the Farmville Hampton Inn, which was a beautiful room and only about 20 minutes from my sister's house.

Sunday, ah, what can I say about Sunday's eating except that I bet I had 3000-3500 truly DELICIOUS calories!! Ha Ha!!

It started off with a breakfast provided by the Hampton Inn. My sister and step-mother also stayed there, so we had a leisurely breakfast with lots of great conversation in the breakfast room, lingering for nearly ninety minutes with coffee. I ate some scrambled eggs, a low-fat sugar free yogurt, and a banana. That was all reasonable, but lunch more than made up for it!

My son Lowell had told us about "the best burger place in the world." It is in Charlottesville, VA, right in the heart of the UVA campus. Boylan Heights is the name of the place, and it truly was unique. They give you a scan-tron type of thing where you can color in the dots on all the things you want on your burger plus the side dishes. I had a vegetarian burger on a multi-grain bun. Mark had his veggie burger "in a bowl," which meant no bun, so I should have done that, but...I didn't. Anyway, on the burger I had pepper jack cheese, black bean and corn salsa, lettuce, tomatoes, pickle chips, and grilled vidalia onions. It was amazing. Each of us had a great time building our personal burgers. The side dishes were also truly unique. I chose sweet potato fries, which I've never had and truly enjoyed. Evey had traditional fries, but Mark and Lowell picked the most unique thing, fried potato salad! It was a large scoop, somehow breaded and deep fried, with a horseradish style sauce drizzled over it, served in a separate bowl. It looked and tasted amazing. I sliced off the edge, maybe three bites, from Mark's just to try it. I loved it, but I'm not a fan of horseradish sauce, so if I ever ordered it (which we all know I NEVER should), I'd ask for the sauce to be left off.

The fun and calories didn't stop there! Oh, no! There were tempura battered and fried dill pickle chips for an appetizer. None of us ever had that before, so we just had to try it. I ate one; it's not going to be my favorite. Evey hated it. Mark and Lowell each ate four or five to finish the big platter. They really liked them. If you like pickle chips and fried food, then this is the dish for you!!

I'm not done YET!! Dessert!! Well, when you go to such a cool restaurant and there are unique appetizers and entrees, you just KNOW there is going to be a very special and wonderful dessert menu. Evey and I decided to share the S'mores option because in addition to the traditional s'mores ingredients of graham crackers, marshmallows, and melted chocolate, this one included banana slices and peanut butter. There were three separate "sandwiches" on the plate: one for me, one for Evey, one for Lowell. The melted chocolate just made it the messiest thing any of us had ever eaten. Evey went through about two dozen napkins and got some on the side of her new jeans, but we all were smacking our lips with delight. Lowell ordered something with a clever name that I've forgotten. but it had a huge Ghiradelli brownie topped with ice cream, chocolate sauce, many, many pieces of Hershey bars, and whipped cream. Fortunately it came with four spoons, so we all had some of that, too.

Wow! The only thing I did right was insist that we walk around the UVA campus a little bit before getting in the car to start the drive home. We took about a 20 minute walk. Later that night we went to Denny's where I ate my usual 750 calorie tilapia dinner. What a wonderful day of food. I bet tomorrow will not look pretty on the scale. Sigh.

Today I can easily control my breakfast and lunch, but tonight I'm bringing Chinese food to Lowell's apartment so we can play the Beatles Rock Band game. I always eat Hunan Chicken, which is not the worst thing to get at a Chinese take-out place, but the sodium content is so high that the water weight clings to me for at least 24 hours. Tomorrow is the day of reckoning on the scale, and I do not think I will like the number. Sadly, I did not like last week's number either. UGH.

All I can say is that today is the last time that there is any reason to overindulge. I'm trying to take the attitude that it's okay to overdo it for special occasions as long as I'm able to get back on track and back to my better habits when the occasion is over. I hope that this is the way the maintenance phase of my life will go. When the new year starts, I have two more months to lose weight before the six week trip. Last year I managed to lose 15 pounds on our five week vacation. Maybe I can do the same this time.

Plenty of eating to do today and tomorrow!

Today I am traveling four hours down to Virginia to see my sister's new house and to exchange presents. It should be a fun day but full of food, but I have decided not to worry about it. I am taking the advice of the Health Tip that came up on this blog about not getting crazy over indulging a little on the holidays. So I'm just going to enjoy myself for the weekend and get back on track on Monday. That's the plan. I'm also not taking the computer, so there will be no more posts today or tomorrow. See you Monday!
PS How do you like the new slideshow? At least one loyal reader said she liked them. A big thank you goes out to my daughter for helping me get that set up! Thanks, Evey! I love you.

Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone who celebrates Christmas today is having a joyous day filled with friends, family, presents, and good food. Personally, I'm not having any special food today! Ha Ha! I am spending the day with my husband and daughter, watching the parade on TV, and wrapping Christmas presents for my family members whom I will see tomorrow. Enjoy the day!!

Urge Surfing

I first heard this term, "urge surfing," the first weekend in December when we were at the resort in West Virginia. There was a lady using a patch to quit smoking. She was on her fifth day and feeling good about it. She was also in a behavioral therapy type program to learn how to substitute healthier behaviors for the smoking. For instance, she had to learn a new behavior to replace smoking when she first got up in the morning. She said that the therapy talked about the concept of urge surfing. This is acknowledging the urge to have a cigarette and then moving on to something else. The ability to say, "Wow, I'd really like a cigarette right now, but I won't have one," and move on to something else is a good skill. After five days on the patch and in the therapy, she was just starting to be able to do that.

This resonated with me completely because I think the idea totally applies to weight loss. I often want some food; today it was M and M's. With food it's referred to as a craving, and people are often told it's ok to indulge the craving a little bit to satisfy it and make it go away. I'm not sure that works for me, or anyone who is truly food-addicted. Satisfying the craving just makes me eat more. I'm never satisfied with a little bit; it would just trigger eating greater and greater amounts of something, either the originally craved food or whatever was at hand. A binge-eating episode would ensue, for sure! However, urge surfing might work. I can acknowledge the desire, the craving, the urge for a specific food, and then move on without having it.

I did it today at the gas station. Before I left to go pump gas, I was craving chocolate, specifically M and M's. My daughter also said how much she would like to have some. When I was at the gas station, I thought about M and M's the entire time I pumped the gas. I wanted them; I planned to go in and buy them for me and my daughter as soon as the gas was pumped. I held my wallet in my hand just waiting to go in and get them. I was only going to buy two small bags, one for each of us, to satisfy this urge, but I didn't do it. Instead when the gas pump clicked off, I acknowledged the urge and moved on. I told myself that I did not need them. I got back in the car and drove home. Was it satisfying? Not really! I still want them. I made a cup of hot choclate, 60 calories, as soon as I got home and tried to savor that chocolately goodness. It wasn't the same, but it was a better idea. It's a start. I'm proud of myself for surfing that urge!

Busy day.

My county went back to school today on a two hour delay. Most people thought this was crazy, including the people in my house. I opted for a day of "illness in the family" so I could drive Evey to her doctor's appointment. She was afraid to drive there because she didn't really remember where it was and was afraid of driving in the icy conditions. I was happy to be the good mama and escort her to the doctor's appointment. After we went to the doctor, we walked quickly two times around the mall in thirty minutes. That may have been a record for me. We had a healthy Subway lunch, and then we walked a third time around the mall, doing a little shopping. We left the mall around 2:30 p.m. and headed over to Target and the grocery store, where we finally finished the last of all the holiday shopping for the relatives. I have eaten well today, 1140 calories, and I have exercised. This was a busy, fun, healthy day.

The damage is done; the verdict is in.

The damage is that I ate like crazy for several days. The verdict is that I gained exactly five pounds for the week. I guess that's better than the eight that I estimated yesterday. I actually did have a slightly better day yesterday, only 2045 calories, but that's just a best guess because the calories for menu items at DuClaw's do not seem to be available on the web.

It's just so depressing that one month of hard work, low-calorie eating, and walking can take five pounds off, but three days of eating 3 to 4 thousand calories each day can put it right back on. I just think that feels unfair!

All I can say is that I will commit to a better week this week. Mark and Evey are home. That's exciting, and it also keeps me focused and on track. I'll try to get to the mall to walk. Also, Mark gave me the Biggest Loser exercise program for our new Wii as an anniversary gift last night. Once the Wii system is up and running, I should be able to do other exercise besides walking. With the cold weather and snowy/icy conditions, driving to the mall to walk is getting difficult.

So that's it. The verdict is that if you do the crime (overeat), you will do the time (work another month to take off the same weight again). It's as simple as that.

Come on, admit it, I'm not the only one, am I?

Blizzard conditions, snowed in, home alone, overeating. It all goes together doesn't it, and I'm not the only one. I know for sure one of my former colleagues was doing it, too. Yikes. I have overeaten to an extreme degree for two straight days. 3500 calories on Saturday while I watched the snow fall; 4500 calories yesterday in the bright sun for no reason except lack of control. Today I am up about EIGHT pounds, on the bunny scale, not my regular one. Mark put the regular one away, as he should, Tuesday night, but the bunny scale is in the bunny room all the time and accessible. It never shows the same numbers as the "official" scale, but it can show a GAIN OF EIGHT F*&%^%ING POUNDS in just three days. Unbelievable. WHY do I do this? I don't know. It's a disease. I also have a pounding headache today. Probably related to the overeating. Of course there wasn't even anything really yummy here to eat. I ate nearly 2,000 calories just in a box of matzoh and margarine. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID. Today I've had nothing except black coffee in four different flavors; yay, for the Keurig coffee-maker. I'm not even hungry yet, even though it's nearly 1 p.m. Geez, all that matzo sticks to your innards pretty good. BTW, beating yourself up over out-of-control eating is so typical of Binge-Eating Disorder. I'm a textbook case, although that doesn't make it any better. Today is also my 34th wedding anniversary, and we are all going out to DuClaw's for dinner tonight. I had hoped to have a little splurge there tonight, but hey, I've been splurging for three straight days. I guess I'd better try to control it tonight instead.

Good neighbors

I saw my neighbors, with their three children, out shoveling their driveway and talking to some other neighbors from across the street. I went out on the stoop, explained my situation, and offered to pay their oldest son to do my sidewalk. The dad said he and his son would totally be happy to clear my sidewalk and would not accept any money for it. Wow, there are truly nice people in this world, and I feel blessed to have such nice neighbors! Here's the day with his snow blower in the background, the mom up at the front of my car, and the son barely visible over the opposite side of my car. I did end up giving their son $20 and the parents a $25 gift card to Applebee's in a Christmas card for their efforts.

"Let it Snow! Let it Snow! Let it Snow!"

I'm officially in the blizzard zone! It's snowing like crazy, but I'm all snug and warm, wearing multiple layers of clothing and drinking lots of hot drinks made on my new Keurig coffee-maker. It's a good thing I stocked up on four different flavors!

I won't be doing any shoveling because I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy or twist my body until mid-January. Oh, that's just too bad! So the 26+ inches that are expected to be on my lawn, driveway, and sidewalks will just have to sit there until Mark gets home Monday! Sorry, Mark.

More problematic is the lack of exercise and the abundance of food and the natural tendency to want to eat a lot on cold, snowy days. There's no one in the house to prevent me from doing this, so I have to rely on my own will-power. YIKES. That's a scarier thought than the possibility of 26+ inches of snow showing up and no way to shovel it. Last night I ate a "comfort food" TV dinner: vegetarian meat loaf, mashed potatoes, and mixed vegetables. It was AWESOME and only 290 calories. Thanks, Amy brand! I added a large quantity of steamed broccoli and a big salad with some parmesan cheese. Not too bad. It probably wasn't more calories than I would have had if I had gone to my friend's house for dinner as planned. I cancelled that trip because the snow was supposed to start falling by 9. It actually started at 9:30 and came pretty fast, so I'm glad I stayed home. I also had a half cup of grape juice for kiddush and an entire, but small, challah roll. I lit the eighth night of Hanukkah candles, lit up the electric menorah in the front window, and lit the Shabbat candles. It was a quiet, peaceful evening.

I also totally amazed myself by learning to use my iPod and Kindle. I downloaded three songs to the iPod and one book to the Kindle. I'm really in LOVE with both objects! Thank you Evey, Lowell, and Mark for these wonderful Hanukkah presents. I am really glad I have these toys to amuse me today. I'm going to spend a large part of the afternoon reading my new novel on the Kindle while I sit with the bunny rabbit to keep her company. I doubt if she'll care that I'm sitting in there with her, but hey, company is company when you have no one else!

Isn't that the point?

I did not write a blog entry last night, as I usually do, for two main reasons. First, yesterday evening was just extremely busy, so I almost didn't have time. I say "almost" because, of course, I could have made or could have found the time except that I didn't want to write the truth. But isn't that the point? To write the truth? Now it's the light of day, well, almost, it's actually cold and dark out and 6:30 a.m.! I had a terrible night, so I feel I need to come clean.

Mark is in Florida, and I was alone in the house. (Not really for that long because I was so busy, but that's another story.) The rest of the Egg Nog Light ice cream was calling me. I swear! I heard it. For two hours, I told it to go away. Finally, at 10:00 p.m., when the chores were over, and I was happily watching Tosca from the MET on TV, it caught me unawares. Yes, the Egg Nog ice cream container just flew out of the freezer and into my lap. I told it that I would only flirt with it a little bit and not really get into it, but it was so seductive and so evil. Soon, I was all over it. Soon, the little bitch was GONE. Yes, I ate a quart or more of Edy's Slow-Churned Egg Nog Ice Cream. 110 calories per half cup, and I estimated that the bitch forced me to eat at least seven half-cup servings, maybe eight.

So to make up a few of the calories, I didn't eat the banana. Or the sugar-free Popsicles. Like any of that would matter now.

And I paid for it! I have not had bad leg cramps in over a year, since I have been exercising, eating better, and eating a banana every night at bedtime for the potassium. YIKES. My whole left leg went into a painful spasm at 5:15 a.m., including the truly painful large muscle in the inside of the thigh. I worked at it for half an hour to make it go away, sitting on the side of the bed massaging it and finally, painfully hobbling to the kitchen to eat the banana, belatedly!

I guess the good news was that sitting up looking at the clock made me remember that I had not set the time right, so my alarm would not have gone off at 5:45. Now it didn't matter because I was already up.

So, I ate the ice cream. I paid for it in leg cramps and lack of sleep. Another lesson learned, but isn't that also the point?

Walking it off.

I walked today. Yay for me. I went two times around the mall in about 35 minutes then had a black coffee. Also I checked the scale this morning (sshh, don't tell Mark) and it was, for once, good news. I am down another 1.4, so I guess this week's weight just took an extra day to fall away. The extra good news is that it makes an even 110 pounds LOST, hopefully forever. I'm excited.

Also my first pair of high heels came in the mail today. I haven't worn any heels in decades because you really can't stand on your tippy-toes for long when you have bad knees and weigh over 300 pounds. I want to wear heels for my show at the end of January, so I found some online that are two inches and supposed to feel like one inch. They do feel pretty good, and I'm impressed that I can wear them at all. I still think too big, though, because they are a half size too large. I might keep them anyway and try to deal with it. I'm almost afraid to send them back in case the next half size down is too tight. Oh, this is getting just so hard.

Tonight I'm going to my accompanist's house for a big rehearsal. The show is getting closer and closer!! Very exciting.

An unknown commenter!

Thank you, "Old Geezer." I don't know who you are, and I don't know how you found my blog, but it's kind of cool to get a positive comment from someone I don't know. As far as I knew, the only people reading this blog were those I personally told about it among my family, friends, and co-workers. I was quite taken aback tonight, in a positive way, when I saw a comment from a stranger. Thanks for finding me and taking the time to comment.

Today is Tuesday, which is weigh-in day. I weighed 213.6 this morning, down just .8 for the week. That was mildly disappointing because my average daily calorie count for the week was 1130, but I think it's because there were only a few days of walking. I seem to have hit the plateau that is all so common. I can't drop the calories any lower and keep the nutritional content reasonable, so the only alternative is to step up the exercise component. Well, I didn't do any today. UGH. I had to mail Christmas presents and make multiple copies of music, which took FOREVER at Office Depot. It wasn't Office Depot's fault; it was just a lot of music and a lot of copies to make. Still, it prevented me from walking. I did take the stairs at work several times today, and I sang through the second half of my show when I got home. I guess that will have to count as the exercise component today. LOL

It's still Hanukkah, but I did not eat a latke tonight. Instead, later on, I'm going to have one jelly munchkin donut from Dunkin' Donut. I bet you didn't know you could buy just ONE munchkin for a QUARTER. That's pretty cool. There are 50 calories in that, so my calories today will be 1230. I'll have my little munchkin with a nice cup of decaf coffee made on my new machine. Ooo, I love that new machine! I wonder how long I can make one munchkin last?

Finally, our best friends became first-time grandparents last night when a baby boy was born to their oldest daughter at about 9 p.m. Congratulations to the new parents and grandparents. Love to all of you and Happy Hanukkah. What a great Hanukkah present!

Just Gorgeous

Last night's Hanukkah party was fabulous. Texas Hold-Em Dreidle is awesome, and Mark was the big winner. I ate only what I was supposed to, and everyone enjoyed the food. It was just a warm, fuzzy, family evening.

After school I visited Aunt Elsie again. She has no idea what's up, but I spent about 20 minutes with her. I sang her two Christmas carols which she seemed to enjoy. Then I walked once around the mall and did a little more shopping. I'm starting to wonder if I'm substituting shopping for eating!

Tonight Mark is grilling salmon for dinner. I'm excited because that's one of my favorite things to eat, and we haven't had it for a long while. Also in the mail today are the outfits I ordered for my upcoming show in January. I didn't know what size to order so I figured I'd get an assortment and then do some exchanges as needed. I got some in 1X, some in size 20, and some in size 22. Everything fit very well!! One of the tops, a 1X, is actually too big! I think I might replace that one, but everything else is fine. I think that even if I lose another 10 or 12 pounds by the end of January, they should still be ok. I'm very excited because these outfits are just so GORGEOUS! I can't wait to wear them.

I hope lots of people come to the show on January 30. Mark and I are both working really hard on everything, and I think it's going to be pretty good. Plus did I mention that my outfits are GORGEOUS!!??

Hanukkah dinner party and Mah Jongg

Today is another fun-filled day full of food. I skipped breakfast because I went to play Mah Jongg for brunch. I didn't know what kind of food I would find. I found bagels, home-made nut/raisin cream cheese, whipped cream cheese, white fish salad, vegetable salad in vinegar, fresh cut-up fruit, fresh baby carrots, and onions/tomatoes for the bagels. At first, I thought, "There is nothing here I can eat." I knew the white fish salad and bagels with cream cheese would far exceed the 450 calories I had set for myself as a limit. And to make matters worse, it was also a birthday party so there was a homemake chocolate cake and homemade dreidle shaped cookies for dessert. OY!

The hostess knows that I am on a diet, so she showed me a "roll" that was multi-grain, very flat, and only 100 calories for the whole thing. So I used one of those instead of a big, bakery-style bagel. I put less than 2T of whipped cream cheese on it (60 calories) plus a few slices of tomato and red onion (20 calories). On the side I added 35 calories of baby carrots and about 100 calories of fresh fruits: grapes, blueberries, strawberries, and cantalope. When dessert came out, I stuck to a very small piece of chocolate cake which literally took only three small bites to eat. I estimated another 80 calories for the cake. When I left, I felt triumphant that I had consumed only about 400 calories! I also won one game of Mahj, so the day was perfect.

Tonight my sister Cindy and my son Lowell are coming to join us for a special Hanukkah dinner. It's the third night. We will light candles, share presents, eat dinner, and then a very special activity, Texas Hold-em Dreidle!! Who knew!? Mark heard about it on TV yesterday and carefully wrote down the rules. I have the table all set up for it, and I can't wait to see their faces when I tell them what we're going to do.

Meanwhile dinner and dessert will have a lot of calories, but since I only had 400 today so far, I know that I'm going to close to 800 for this special occasion. The Hungry Girl Cheesy Bean Enchillada is 190. That will come with salad (100: 40 in veggies, 60 in cheese), one lo-carb, lo-fat latke (100), and green beans (35). Before dinner Mark is serving a special Hungry Girl Egg Nog with rum, 160 calories. Dessert is going to be very special since today is National Ice Cream and Violins day (don't ask, we can't find out why this particular pairing on this particular day), but we're going to serve everyone half a cup of Edy's light Egg Nog ice cream (110) plus one sugar-free wafer cookie (35), one sugar-free dark chocolate (30), and two tangelo segments (20). It will look gorgeous and be only a total of 185 calories. This fabulous dessert will be served with coffee while we play the Texas Hold-Em Dreidle and listen to violin music. Can't wait!!

First 5K since surgery

I have had an interesting day so far. I went up to a flu clinic for my H1N1 vaccination. It is finally open to everyone, not just the priority groups. I expected a long line and a cold wait outside in the 30 degree weather, so I wore two pairs of socks, two pairs of pants, and two pairs of gloves along with a scarf and a big coat with a hood. I also took a book to read. Well, I was completely wrong. The clinic opened at 10 a.m.; I arrived at 10:05 a.m.; I left at 10:20 a.m. Unbelievable. It was handled so very smoothly by the county health department. There were lots of people keeping us moving around and plenty of stations to get the shots. I was pretty impressed with the organization and efficiency. I also feel very happy that I have my shot now.

After the shot, I drove to the mall. Since I was wearing double socks, pants, and gloves, I really didn't feel like walking inside the mall. So I drove around the mall and figured out a parking spot that would make the walk a mile and a half. I parked, walked that route twice, and then into the mall to the Starbucks. Voila! A 5K walk followed by a tall, black, coffee compliments of Mark via my new Starbucks card. Happy Hanukkah to me!

Happy Hanukkah to All

Tonight is the first night of Hanukkah. Happy Hanukkah, everyone! Mark decorated the house while I was at work. When I got home, it looked quite festive with the banners hung on the wall, the menorahs on the mantle, and wrapped presents piled up on the table. Tonight Mark and I lit our menorahs, sang the three blessings for the first night, lit up the electric menorah in the front window, and lit the Shabbat candles. It was lovely, but a little empty without the kids here with us. Then we exchanged our first presents. Our big present tonight is the Wii game system. It is sitting on the table with a big blue bow on it! I don't think we'll set it up tonight, but once it's up and running (and I figure out how to use it), I hope to get some exercise with it. I might buy the Biggest Loser exercise game to play on it, but if not, I'll just do some bowling and tennis or whatever else is already in there. Mark plans to get the new Epic Mickey game for it next September. I also gave Mark a Roy Rogers/Dale Evans DVD, and he gave me a $25 gift card to Starbucks, which will not take long to use up after my walks in the mall!!

Hanukkah, like all Jewish holidays, is all about the food! LOL Usually tonight we would have delicious latkes and jelly donuts from Dunkin' Donuts. Not this year. I looked up the calories for the Dunkin' Donuts; that was pretty scary. I could maybe eat one jelly munchkin for 50 calories, and I think on Sunday night we will get them. Mark found some frozen broccoli latkes from the Dr. Praeger line. They have 80 calories each, so he is making me one latke. Along with that we are having the Hungry Girl Baja Taco Blitz with salad, as well as challah and wine since it's Friday night. I will only eat one bite of challah and about one ounce of wine, so that's a mere 50 calories. The salad will have about 100 calories tonight since I put only 1/8 of a cup, 60 calories, of grated parmesan cheese on top of the large plate of salad veggies. The Taco Blitz is 280 calories, so my total caloric intake today will be 1180. Wow, I'm sure that on past nights of Hanukkah that also coincided with Shabbat my calories may have far exceeded 4000 for the day, especially if four or five latkes with applesauce and one or two jelly-filled donuts were involved! I guess it is possible to celebrate the holiday and keep the calories low. This is something that I am learning.

Size does matter!

I did three laps around the mall in 57 minutes in my new black Nikes. Yay for me! Then I had my Starbucks and remembered that I had to buy a birthday present for someone since I'll be playing Mah Jongg on Sunday with her. So...that brought me to a store near the Starbucks. I found a lovely winter white scarf and matching gloves for her present. I also decided to buy two tops for myself because they were half-price, which meant about $10 each. What size? I don't really know my size. I already talked about not being able to find any pants last week that fit. I held up several tops and decided that the 18/20 looked about right, and if it was too tight now, then it would probably be ok in a month. When I got home, I literally squealed with delight because they both fit perfectly, right now. In fact, I'm going to wear one tomorrow to school. It is just amazing to me that I can fit into a size 18/20 top! (Not pants at that size, sadly, but maybe someday.) A year ago I wore size 32!! Amazing.

Shopping

First of all, my scale was still in the bathroom this morning, so of course I got on it, and of course I'm up TWO pounds eating only 1100 calories yesterday. AGH!! Mark had not shopped yesterday, so it was slim pickings in the pantry this morning to make lunch. I found an old Manischewitz Matzo Ball soup container that has only 50 calories. Unfortunately when I looked at it more carefully at lunch today, I discovered it had a date on it of 1987!! I guess we don't clean out the pantry that often. It didn't smell too good when I made it, so after a few bites, I threw it out. I was also out of yogurt for the mid-morning snack. Instead I took sugar-free mousse. It was delicious and only 60 calories instead of the 90 in the yogurt, but it has almost no nutritional value to it. So my breakfast was only 180 calories instead of the usual 210, and lunch contained only 110 calories instead of the usual 240. I ate an orange after school as always, and then I really enjoyed my Grande Skinny Caramel Latte at Starbucks, 110 calories!

I went to the mall after school to buy new walking shoes. It's such a chore. I have HUGE orthotics that have to fit into the shoes. I wanted to buy Nike shoes, so I went to the Nike Store at the mall. I tried on five or six pairs. It's hard to find a walking shoe that will hold these monster orthotics. I bought two pairs of shoes. One is a walking shoe and the orthotics went in fairly well. They are white with a gray strip and pretty cool looking. I hope they work out. They were also on sale for only $40. Not bad. I should have stopped there, but I really liked the black pair that didn't hold the orthotics! They felt really good without the orthotics, and I think it will be good to have a black pair just to wear to school. They cost $80. Hm...I didn't really need them, so that was a bit of a splurge.

I slowly walked all the way around the mall once, window shopping, and actually shopping. I got a few things here and there, finishing up at Starbucks. Now I'm home waiting for Mark to make my Miracle Noodle spaghetti dinner, our usual Wednesday night fare. It's yummy!

Weigh-in Day

This morning I weighed 214.4 which now makes a total loss of 107.6 pounds. That is marking from my highest of 322, which I sadly hit twice. The first time was January 1, 2007, and I immediately set to work to lose some. I lost a bit and then put it back, so that I hit 322 again on April 15, 2007. Thankfully, I never got all the way back up to that. This particular weight loss journey began on January 20, 2009 at 316.8 pounds. So for this trip, I have lost 102.4. Still pretty darn good!

Dinner at Denny's after a tough day.

This morning I headed out for work, got on the Parkway, and it was a parking lot. UGH. I had to get right back off and go the long way to work. I had left early, so I still made it to work on time. Work went well, and then I went to my cousin's house so we could go visit my elderly aunt. I had two lap blankets to bring her because she had complained of being cold last time. I think she liked them. It's hard to tell. Then when we got back to my cousin's house...BOOM...my car wouldn't start. Fortunately, the car was in front of my cousin's house! Her son Chuck came out and gave me a jump start to send me on my way. I met Mark at the auto supply store near our house where they will come out, check the battery, and replace it right in the parking lot. UNFORTUNATELY, they did not have my kind of battery even though my battery failed their test. SO....off we went to the local Ford dealer. Missed it by THAT much, as Maxwell Smart used to say. They closed at 6 p.m. and it was 6:05. DOH! I left it on a night drop and also asked for 60,000 mile check-up. This will probably cost a fortune at the season of year where it's not fun to pay a fortune for car upkeep. Oh, well...at least Mark agreed to let me buy him dinner at Denny's. I was SOOOOO ready to go have dinner by 6:30 p.m. after a long, crazy day.

The cook was having an off day, so she sent me the Sr. Lemon Pepper Tilapia WITH sauce even though I always order it with NO sauce. Our server sent it back, which was nice. The cook also sent Mark, and later me, the full meal instead of the Sr. meal. This meant a bigger plate, larger piece of fish, and a huge pile of RICE with peas and carrots lurking under the fish. YUM. I love rice with peas and carrots, but I could not eat that. Actually I picked out all the peas and carrots and left most of the rice, but I need to add at least an extra 100 calories to the usual count of 750. Sigh. After an unusually stressful day, I would normally overeat A LOT, so I guess just having a few extra peas and carrots isn't too bad.

Now I'm finally home and watching TV and relaxing. Feels good to be relaxing finally.

Home again

Last night at the resort was a lot of fun, and I managed my dinner calories pretty well. This morning we had breakfast in the room again before a nice stretch of reading in front of the fireplace. It's bright and sunny out; the roads are clear. The drive home was uneventful. We decided to eat Subway for lunch instead of a sandwich and fries at the resort. They have no salad options at lunch, unfortunately. We had a late lunch at the Subway in Hagerstown on the drive home, but I held off my hunger with some carrots and gum in the car. For dinner we are heading out shortly to eat at TJ's in Calverton. It's where I went last week with Suzie and Evelyn. Mark is jealous that everyone he knows has been there except him, so I suggested we go there instead of Denny's. I know I can make the right choices there to keep my calories reasonable. The only bad thing about the last three days is that there has been no walking. My calories have been between 1400 and 1600 each day for the last few days. Without walking a lot, that's probably maintenance level. The scale will tell the tale tomorrow morning!

It's snowing.

As promised, there is snow falling here in West Virginia this morning. It is just beautiful. Mark and I ate our hard-boiled eggs and fruit in our room this morning. I sat by the fireplace for awhile sipping coffee, and I'm about to go sit by the indoor pool and read my book on the making of the Panama Canal. It's going to be a great day. I hope anyone reading this is having a great day, too.

Weekend Away

I worked two days! Hey, enough is enough! Time for a get-a-way. Mark drove me to work this morning, so he could come back at 2:30 and pick me up right after work. We drove two and a half hours to one of our favorite places up in the West Virginia mountains. The lodge has a crackling, roaring fireplace going, and at 8:30 tonight they are running the movie A Good Year with Russell Crowe and Albert Finney. I don't know anything about it, but I don't care. I'm sure it will be fun and relaxing to watch it with the fire in the huge, stone fireplace of the main lodge.

To keep my calories in check, we always bring our own dinner. Mark had Subway salads, challah, and grape juice in the car for dinner in our room. It's Shabbat tonight, so we always have challah and grape juice for that. We also packed hard-boiled eggs and fruit for breakfast in the room tomorrow morning. This lodge provides coffee and tea all day in the lodge plus we brought 8 bottles of water. Tomorrow for lunch we are having salad with cans of tuna, also brought from home. This plan always saves calories as well as money. We will eat dinner here tomorrow night at the buffet. The Sunday morning breakfast and lunch will be a bit more problematic, but I'll try to be careful and keep the calories reasonable. I'll keep you posted.

Tomorrow it's supposed to snow one to three inches up here. It should be amazingly beautiful to sit in the lodge by the fire and watch it snow, or go to the indoor pool area and look out the floor to ceiling glass walls at the snowfall. The only sad thing for me is that I am still restricted from swimming or getting in the hot tub. I will have to content myself with watching Mark enjoy these things. I'll probably get a lot of reading done! In any case, this will be a calm, snowy, relaxing weekend.

Back to Work!

Today was my first day back to work. It felt great. It was fun to see everyone again, and I got one new class in my schedule which made for an interesting day. After school, Mark and I went to see the new Disney movie, Old Dogs, which wasn't really very good. Then we walked twice around the mall track and had a Starbucks. I love those skinny lattes! Today I got only the Tall size, 90 calories. My day's calories will be 1200 again today. I feel strong and in control. I am becoming aware that being in control is a day to day struggle. Just because I'm in control today does not mean that I'll be that way tomorrow, or even later today. I have to take think about it all the time.

Last day of sick leave

This is my last day of sick leave from the surgery. The fear of the surgery is long gone; the recovery is nearly complete. There are only a few restrictions left: no lifting really heavy things, no twisting, no swimming or hot tubbing. Except for the no lifting, all restrictions will be gone by mid-January. Now I have to continue on the weight loss journey without the fear factor. It's a challenge. I will keep writing in this blog, writing my food down in the journal, walking, resisting binges. I still feel pretty motivated because I want to get under 200, and I'm getting very close.

Today I walked two times around the track inside the local mall. I started the circuit in the food court so that when I got back around the second time I could have my double meat turkey salad at the Subway in the food court. That was delicious as always. Then I started out to walk one more time around the mall at a slow pace and stop in the stores for some shopping. I was determined to try on some clothes and try to find my size. I have learned that I am between sizes right now. I want some new slacks, so I went to TJ Maxx first and tried on a pair of 24w. They were HUGE! So I took back a pair in size 22w. They fit pretty well in the waist and hips, but the legs were like clown pants. Then I took back a pair of 20w. At least that's what the hanger said, but they were actually 18w and did not fit. I figured I was a 20, but I was tired of being in that store, so I moved on to Burlington Coat Factory. I took back three pairs of various styles of pants, including a pair of stretchy jeans, all in size 20w. Nothing fit. I couldn't zip up or button anything, although the legs were the right size. So I'm between 20 and 22 right now, I guess. Still it was disappointing not to buy any new pants. On the plus side, I am no longer a size 32w, which I most definitely was less than a year ago. And that size isn't even in any store!

I also treated myself to a new pair of shoes. I was trying on dressy heels for my show in January, but that got me nowhere. Shoes are either flat or four inches high! Why isn't there anything dressy with a reasonable heel height of two inches? I did find a cute pair of casual shoes which were just like things I had been drooling over in catalogs for awhile. Even though they were expensive (not as expensive as the cowboy boots!), I bought them as a splurge for myself. I also bought some Christmas cards and presents for Mark, Evey, and my Aunt Elsie.

From the food court to the Starbucks is about halfway around the track. That half took TWO HOURS with all the stopping and shopping! It was worth it and lots of fun. I treated myself to a Grande Sugar-Free Caramel Nonfat Latte (110 calories) and sat on a bench sipping it while I put my new shoes on. When I had finished half the latte, I gathered up all my packages, which were getting quite heavy by now, and walked in my new shoes all the way around the rest of the track and out to the car. It was a great day!

One funny thing did happen today. I noticed at lunch that I was wearing my husband's pants!! When I texted him that, his response was, "I'm speechless." Anyone who knows the two of us knows that we are nowhere near the same size, so how could I possibly be wearing his pants most of the day before I noticed! Well, we both have identical sweatpants from the bat mitzvah of our friends' daughter last January. Mark's are size L and really too big for him. Mine are size XL and didn't fit at all when I got them. After all the weight loss, I discovered they fit fine. Today I pulled them out of the clean clothes basket and put them on. Hm...I thought they felt a bit snugger than I remembered, but oh, well...I went on about the day. When I went to the ladies room at lunch in the mall, I decided to check the size tag. Ha Ha!! I'm wearing Mark's size L pants. I'm pretty excited that they fit. Why couldn't anything else in the store fit?

Walking is good.

I went to visit my 90 year old aunt. She was married once for a little while in the 1940s, but she never had any children. She was such a dynamo all her life, very athletic, a champion basketball player in her high school years, on a regular bowling league all of her adult life. She lived alone, and I always admired how she could do anything. She could fix anything that broke on her house. I would see her up on ladders, painting, hammering, nailing. She was amazing.

She didn't look much like the aunt I remembered. Sometimes she sort of responded to things and spoke, but mostly she just leaned over and looked tired. She's in a nursing home, confined to a wheelchair, eating only soft foods because she has no teeth or dentures. Still I was glad I went. I had wanted to take pictures, but the camera's batteries were dead. I'm going to go back and visit again Monday after work. I really enjoyed catching up on the news with cousin Irene and her husband Gary. It's been way too long since I had seen them. Between them they have six children, fifteen grandchildren, and fifteen great-grandchildren. What an awesome twosome!

When I got home, I went for a walk. I walked exactly 3 miles in an hour and ten minutes. It's not a 5k, but it's very close. I felt great while I was doing it. I also ate very well today. If I stick to the plan and only have my banana and two sugar-free popsicles later tonight, I will clock in at exactly 1100 calories today. It's been a good day.

Did I mention I bought an awesome pair of cowboy boots last night? What a treat for myself! I wore them all day today (except on the walk) and I loved how they looked.

Great day in the morning!

It's Tuesday and my official weigh-in is this morning. It was GREAT! 217.2, my lowest point yet. It represents 1.5 pound loss for the week (despite being up so much yesterday) and it's just two-tenths short of hitting the 105 pound mark. I'm very excited.

When I ate out yesterday, I did several things right. First, I went to the restaurant's website and read the menu carefully before I left the house. I picked out what I was going to have, a spinach salad (no bacon, no dressing) with grilled salmon. Second, when I got there, I stuck to that plan. I had three cups of black coffee along with it and lots of wonderful conversation with my friends. Third, when the delicious basket of hot bread and butter arrived, I did not even look at it! The salad had some shredded cheddar, a hard-boiled egg, and a handful of croutons on it, but even so, it's total calories were about 420. At the end of the meal, three hard candies were delivered with the check. One of my friends offered it to me and politely asked if I could have it. I decided to take it because it was a small sweet treat, self-contained, and only about 20 calories. I really appreciated that she asked me first. I also stuck to my eating plan all day without any slip-ups at night, so my day's calories were 1175. I have not had such a good day in at least a week.

Today is going to be an interesting one that I'll probably blog about later this afternoon. I have a 90 year old aunt still living. This morning I'm going to my cousin's house in the Baltimore area, then she and I will go to the nursing home to visit Aunt Elsie. This is the last of my mother's siblings. My mother was the youngest of 7, and Elsie was number 5. Although my mother died at age 58 and a half, nearly a year younger than I am now, several of her sisters made it into their 80s and 90s. I heard from my cousin that Aunt Elsie does not know who anyone is, but she's pleasant. I have not seen her for several years, so it's time to go pay a visit.

I also did some reading last night on binge eating disorder. That was enlightening and fodder for another blog later.