Last night I hit a low. I got an email from a dear friend, sharing the information that his wife had recently been diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of uterine cancer. She had already had the complete hysterectomy and was awaiting the pathology reports for staging. The tests she had undergone earlier had already pegged the type of cancer: uterine papillary serous carcinoma. Never heard of it? Neither had I.
Only 5-10% of uterine cancers are this aggressive type. Chemo and radiation are almost always prescribed, even for the lowest stage. I was quite blown away. I was also a little angry that we had not had any heads up about what was going on. I mean to wait until four days AFTER the hysterectomy to tell us seemed wrong. We have been such good friends for so many years that I thought we should have been informed sooner. Sigh.
Today I had a high when I talked to her on the phone. She is a strong woman. She understands the seriousness of what she is facing, but she is ready to do it. I was afraid I would call and start crying, that we both would cry. That I'd be upset and lose it instead of being helpful and supportive. No worries. She was so upbeat and strong that I could hardly help but feel the same encouraging strength. She has a long road ahead of her fighting this with chemo and radiation, but she is ready to put on the gloves and come out fighting. I am proud of her, but I warned her she had better tell me EVERYTHING as it is happening. No more of this waiting for months to go by before telling me all the gory details.
I am not mentioning her name now, so if any of you reading this blog know who I'm talking about, please do not mention it in a public comment on this blog. It is her choice to keep this just among a select few for a little longer.
After talking with her this morning, I felt very upbeat and happy. Surprisingly so. Mark and I did our gym workouts and I even swam 20 minutes of laps. Nice. Then Mark surprised me by deciding to indulge in some decadent Kentucky Derby Weekend food. The bar by the pool was serving Derby Pie (chocolate walnut pie) and Mint Juleps. Since my calories were low and my exercise was high, it looked like we could split a piece of the pie and enjoy the julep. Wow! It was delicious! What a fantastic late afternoon treat! Every now and then Mark can really surprise me!
An interesting pair of commentaries on parashat Tazria. The person who has the affliction of tzara'at is directed to publicize the affliction, and call out to people "Tamei, tamei".
ReplyDeleteThe midrashic commentary Torat Kohanim, cited by Rashi, explains the reason for this is to let other people know that he is infectious, and they should stay away.
The Talmud in Chullin offers a different perspective, though: "He shall make known his affliction so that they may pray for him."
The Gemara goes on to suggest this as a model for dealing with illness in a community: "Likewise, a person upon whom a calamity has fallen should make it known so that others may pray for him.” In other words, people can't benefit from the support of community unless they know of the illness.
Just a thought.