The blurb at the top of this blog mentions my surgery. It is to repair two hernias, one is an incisional one and one is umbilical. I've had them for years, but finally they are going to be fixed. The surgery is scheduled for November 2, 2009 at noon. I'm pretty nervous about it because it will be open abdominal surgery, not laparoscopy. The surgeon felt that the incisional one was just too big to do any other way. It will be at least two hours under general anaesthesia and yet I will go home the same day! Yikes. That's really the scary part.
On April 8 this surgeon fussed at me in the way no doctor had ever done before. He said I was too FAT for this surgery. He said that if he did at the current weight, 296 that morning on my home digital scale, naked and first thing in the morning, it would not work, probably rip open, probably cause me to get an ostomy bag, possibly kill me. He sat there and shook his finger in my face and said, "You are 58 years old and at a crossroads in your life. You are going to choose life or you are going to die." That's pretty scary stuff. I left there and sat in my car talking to my husband and then my daughter on the cell phone, sobbing. I was sure that I had just had a death sentence pronounced because I was sure I was a FAILURE at weight loss. That was around 11 a.m. That night at 7 p.m. I was going to have a house full of company for the first Passover seder. Yikes. I had to pull myself together, go home and cook a huge meal, entertain guests, and not overeat. It seemed like a recipe for disaster, and yet I did it. I had the seder. I did not cry all day or through the seder. I did not overeat. The menu had been set, full of high fat/high carb foods, so I just decided to do two things: take only one serving, absolutely NO second helpings, and take smaller portions of everything, much smaller than I would actually want. To my surprise I did just that!
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