Is this maintenance?

I always say that I have never maintained a weight. I am always either going up or down.  Through most of my life, I have gone up or down very large amounts of weight, sometimes over short periods of time and sometimes over long periods of time. 

Yesterday I had a reasonably good day.  I didn't log anything in, so I can's say for sure, but except for eating some crackers and the rest of a container of hummus plus a large handful of dried cherries as a late afternoon snack, I only ate normal meals at home.  I also did my water aerobics and went to shul in the evening. 

I weigh 272.5 this morning, which is up three-tenths from the last time I posted a weight on Thursday morning. 

So in the last two weeks I have posted these weights:
Monday, June 1   274.5
Monday, June 8 (after the five days of diarrhea)  269.1
Thursday, June 11  275.5
Saturday, June 13  278.5
Monday, June 15  274
Wednesday, June 17  272.9
Thursday, June 18    272.2
Today, June 20    272.5

Is this maintenance?  Am I just maintaining something in the low to mid 270s? 

I don't know because I don't understand maintenance and have never done it for very long.  I am always thinking that I'm dieting and trying to lose weight or I'm binging out of control and packing it on. Still, I weigh about the same that I did two years ago despite a forty pound loss and regain in between.  Is that maintenance?  I am the same as two years ago, for Pete's sake!  I did not maintain that forty pound loss back in the summer of 2013. 

I have heard other people say they check their weight daily, like I do, and when they are up one or two pounds, they change their eating habits by cutting back a little one day.  Then they are back to their normal weight.  I never think that way.  I often fluctuate far more than one pound a day, but it doesn't always spur a change in behavior.  I have not learned to change my habits of grazing for snacks in the house or eating appropriate amounts and types of food at restaurants or parties.  These are problems that are KNOWN to me that I persistently do nothing about.  Being up a pound or two does not change my schedule either.  If we are scheduled to eat out several days in a row, I know I'm going to gain some weight, but I go and overeat anyway.  Then I write on this blog about how much I've gained. 

Why do I keep doing this?  I am nearly 65.  Why have I never learned to control my appetite?  I have no idea.  Evey says I should go to counselling for Binge Eating Disorder.  She is probably right.

But I'm not going to do it.

Sometimes I think I should have bariatric surgery.  I know a lot of people who have done it, some with great long term success and some with only short term success followed by a big regain of most of the weight. 

But I'm not going to do it.  I just know I'd be the one who regained the weight eventually, so why bother going through all of that.  Even though the stomach is smaller, I could see myself grazing small amounts all day long, essentially still getting thousands of calories a day.

The brain and its habits are a mysterious thing, that's for sure!!

Well, today, Mark and I are having a relaxing Shabbat.  We will go to the gym for our weight routine.  Other than that, there are no particular plans.  We might go to the pool, but it's really, REALLY hot.  Yesterday, we spent several hours poolside, as I did on Tuesday.  The pool water is like bath water, not even refreshing to go in.  Almost nobody was out around the pool yesterday because of the heat.  It's too hot to go for a walk outdoors, too.  I suspect we will do the weights at the gym, but that might be our only foray outside.  I see a lot of TV in our future for today.  With any luck, I will eat only my planned meals and snacks and stay the same or drop a little before tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow is Father's Day.  For a present, I am giving Mark a day of his choice when I pick up all the tabs.  We are going to the new Disney movie, Inside Out at Downtown Disney.  Then we are going to Animal Kingdom for a vegetarian lunch at the Asian kiosk, some Fastpasses for the safari and other attractions, wandering around in the high heat and potential thunderstorms to look at animals, followed by a big dinner at the Grand Floridian Cafe.  There is a lot of high calorie eating involved, but there is also a lot of walking. 

Hopefully, Monday morning will show that I maintained by weight for the week!  I was 274 last Monday.  I'm 272.5 this morning.  If I maintain my weight for the week, it will mean I gain a pound and a half tomorrow.  That will be interesting to me to see how it turns out! 

Maintenance?  A concept I have never mastered.